A Match Made in Heaven?

Dave Paisley

Admit it.

It's pretty evident that only those sentenced to live within the confines of the greater Atlanta metropolitan area, New York City residents and expatriate Yankee fans care about the World Series this year, decade of destiny or not. I know I couldn't care less if a stray cruise missile took out Jane Fonda Turner and the TBS broadcasting complex, or George Steinbrenner and all of Don Zimmer's double chins in one fell swoop.

Even better, a strategically placed missile that took out the NBC broadcasting facilities and Bob Costas might even win the Emmy for best sports broadcast next fall.

But, that said, like any baseball junkie, no matter how bland the fare, you'll be glued to the box come Saturday, just like us strikethree.com monkeys. You may not care who wins, but what you do need is the ammo to deride those poor unfortunates that make the big mistakes. To that end, let me present you with the ultimate guide to the Fall Classic matchups.

First, we have the position players. Let me remind you that, in the following tables, OPS is simply On base percentage Plus Slugging average. It's your best handy-dandy guide to who rocks and who sucks. Quick hint: under .700 sucks for any position; over 900 rocks.

So, without further ado, here are the lineups with regular season OPS:

Player	Pos	OPS	OPS	Pos	Player
Posada	C	.742	.671	C	E. Perez
Martinez	1B	.799	.908	1B	Klesko
Knoblauch	2B	.847	.726	2B	Boone
Brosius	3B	.721	1.074	3B	C. Jones
Jeter	SS	.990	.638	SS	Weiss
Ledee	LF	.822	.792	LF	Williams
Williams	CF	.971	.848	CF	A. Jones
O'Neill	RF	.812	.811	RF	Jordan
Davis	DH	.811	.792	DH/1B	Hunter
Strawberry	OF/DH	1.112	.950	IF	Battle
Curtis	OF	.767	.764	IF	Hernandez
Spencer	OF	.691	.718	C	Myers
Leyritz	C	.672	.648	IF	Lockhart
Girardi	C	.625	.607	IF	Guillen
Sojo	IF	.621	.579	C	Fabregas
			.541	OF	Nixon

First, if the Yanks go with Posada, they have a slight edge in offense. Forget the fact that Eddie Perez won the NLCS MVP award. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while, and the fact that Eddie won the award simply tells you how badly the Braves offense tanked against the Mets. Is it likely to keep on happening?

The magic 8 ball says, "All signs point to no."

At first base, we have a significant edge to the Braves. Tino Martinez is really a pretty average 1B. He gets a lot of hype from the fact that he plays in NY and he has a cute butt, or so my wife tells me. Klesko may look like a mass-murderer on the run without a razor, but he does hit better than Tino.

At 2B, the advantage swings back to the Yanks. The revenge of Chuckie versus yet another Boone is really no contest. Besides, Chuckie has magical powers that cloud the minds of umpires, and who can afford to ignore that?

3B is a joke in terms of comparisons. It's MVP vs. LVP. Scott Brosius is still the luckiest guy in the world to be where he is, making that kind of money. The NY fans may get to make fun of Larry "Chipper" Jones again, but sometime in the series he'll show what he's made of (hopefully without having to drop his pants.)

If 3B was a joke for the Braves, SS is a joke for the Yanks. Whether the Braves start Walt Weiss or Ozzie Guillen, Jeter blows them away.

The outfield goes to the Yanks, but only because Bernie Williams is a superstar, while Andruw Jones has yet to show any real promise of superstardom, except in his grandstanding catches. Be sure to let us know when you can hit like Griffey, Andruw… The rest of the outfield is pretty much of a wash, although, if it comes to whining at umpires, Paula Neill does give the Yanks an edge.

The benches are stocked with mostly junk, but the presence of Darryl Strawberry is a potent weapon in the Yankees favor. Especially if he can deal a little blow to the Braves bench while he's waiting to bat. On the DH side, the Braves are stuck for finding an extra bat that will make any kind of difference, and it promises to be a problem for them in NY. A DH that can barely bat better than a pitcher isn't much of a weapon.

Overall, I give the Yanks a slight offensive edge.

On the pitching front, the Braves win hands down in the starting category. Even allowing for the league differences, Maddux, Millwood, Smoltz and Glavine are still light years ahead of the Yanks. But then again, that's what we said about the comparison with the Mets staff. Like the Mets, the Yanks have a good, but not great, rotation. No real weak spots, but no real aces that can take the opposition out.

I really think this will be the key for the Braves. Against the Mets, they were unable to put any of the later games away early. Against the Yankees, it will be crucial to get to the starters early, before the battle move to the pen.

Pitcher	Pos	ERA	ERA	Pos	Pitcher
Cone	SP	3.44	2.68	SP	Millwood
Hernandez	SP	4.12	3.19	SP	Smoltz
Clemens	SP	4.60	3.57	SP	Maddux
Pettitte	SP	4.70	4.12	SP	Glavine
Watson	RP	2.89	2.37	RP	Remlinger
Nelson	RP	4.15	2.82	RP	McGlinchy
Mendoza	RP	4.29	3.42	RP	Springer
Stanton	RP	4.33	4.39	RP	Mulholland
Irabu	RP	4.84
Rivera	CL	1.83	2.49	CL	Rocker

Speaking of the pens, the Braves pen has a significant edge in regular season performance. It showed up peripherally against the Mets, in that they were able to prolong the longer games. Against the Yankees, they win hands down except in the closer category.

Overall, I see a victory for the Braves in five or six games, based mostly on starting pitching.

Woohoo, don't let me get too carried away here. Chop, chop, chop. As Jim Carrey might have said, somebody stop me...

about the author

Dave Paisley is obviously excited at the prospect of Braves win. Email him with ideas about where to get big Braves "We're #1" foam fingers at drdjp@strikethree.com.