Brrrrr, It's Cold In Here

Dave Paisley

After checking out this year's incendiary starts a few days ago, I thought I'd take a look at the other end of the temperature scale this time around. Heck, these guys even had an extra week to work out the kinks, and grind out a few hits to get out of Uncle Dave's OPS cellar, but all to no avail. The list I'm looking at right now is pretty much the same as it would have been last week.

So without further ado, let's take a walk down the Hall of Shame, 1999 style.

But first, an observation. It's pretty tough to come up with an OPS under .500. Really, if you can hit .200 and walk a couple of times, even if you only hit singles, you should be able to creep up to the .500 mark. But we still have five portraits hanging in the Hall right now who can't even manage that.

1. Ron Gant .236/.174/.109/.410 (OBP/SLG/AVG/OPS)
Five hits in 54 plate appearances, with only one for extra bases (a homer) leave poor Ron gasping for oxygen at the bottom of the pool. Only a healthy eight walks keep his OPS over the .300 mark. A tough way to start the season, but Ron should bounce back at some point. Maybe not too far, though. At age 34, this may be a portent of The Cliff (tm).

2. Gary Gaetti .190/.237/.132/.427
The only guy with an on-base average lower than .200. Ouch. Is the fact that he's over 40 finally catching up with him? Did he use up all of his remaining hits in the Cubs' stretch drive last year? Probably not totally, but I wouldn't want him on my team this season. At least not playing every day. It also seems to be a bad thing to have your last name start with the letters "GA," based on the first two guys.

3. Darren Lewis .283/.191/.191/.474
Not exactly Barry Bonds anyway, Lewis may not improve a whole lot. He has posted sub-.600 OPS numbers in past seasons, so I'm not sure this counts as a particularly cold start for him.

4. Rey Ordonez .245/.234/.170/.479
How can we tell this is a cold start for Rey? Trick question - we can't. A mere .032 points of OPS below his 1997 season numbers, it's hard to tell if Rey is slumping or not. One thing we can say for sure is that he isn't learning much about what that big wooden stick is for. It's a good thing he's 27 next year, so we can still look forward eagerly to his "peak" offensive year.

5. Otis Nixon .288/.205/.182/.493
It appears that the Braves believe that Andres Galarraga's lost offense will be replaced by the venerable (and even more venerable looking) Otis Nixon. Which just goes to show that the Braves know a heck of a lot more about pitching than they do about batting. At this point I think Richard Nixon would be a better choice at the plate (and yes, I do know he's dead... in fact, can we really be sure that Otis is alive?).

After the top five, I'm going to be a little more selective. Moving down in the rankings, my eye stops at number nine...

9. Paul Konerko .244/.302/.209/.546
Hailed by many as the next coming of, well, the next big slugging superstar, Konerko is in danger of being branded a dismal failure. 250 assorted at-bats isn't enough to be really sure, but the baseball establishment is usually much less patient than some young players can handle. At least in Chicago, expectations aren't too high, which should give him a chance to keep playing and hopefully settle down. Meanwhile, the Dodger statheads who wailed over losing him are taking a beating from the save-aholics who love Jeff Shaw.

10. Ben Grieve .250/.302/.163/.552
That nasty looking .163 average will be what bothers most fans early in the season, and it can't help Ben too much when the scoreboard flashes that number up as he steps in. However, at his age, with a decent season behind him and with the A's not expected to compete strongly (although 75 wins may take the AL West the way things are going) he should be OK.

11. J.T. Snow .273/.279/.213/.552
Well, we've been noting that J.T. isn't that good for quite a while now, so it isn't a big surprise to see him get off to a stone cold start like this. It could very easily turn into a stone cold season.

14. Johnny Damon .295/.264/.189/.559
Isn't it about time the last few diehards gave up on Damon as a prospect? Still only 25, Damon has had every chance to show he can hit, but wet paper bags are still safe when he has a bat in his hand.

23. Ken Caminiti .308/.311/.200/.619
Tough way to go home. With all the injuries, is the end in sight?

26. Todd Hundley .260/.364/.182/.624
Basically, the offense of Charles Johnson and the defense of Mike Piazza*. D'oh!

31. Juan Gonzalez .318/.322/.271/.640 (and zero, count 'em, HR)
As it's an odd-numbered year, Juan will once again forego his undeserved MVP award. Wet paper bags are once again free to roam American League ballparks.

34. Bret Boone .288/.356/.220/.644
40. Walt Weiss .345/.326/.217/.671
Add these boys to Otis Nixon, and maybe you can start to see why Atlanta is a mere 9-5, rather than their usual 13-1. And then there's also:

Andruw Jones .381/.347/.244/.728
Good-looking on-base number (12 walks, 11 hits) but where's the power (only 3 for extra bases)? Jones will have to turn it up a bit if he wants to be the next Brett Butler (the center fielder, not the comedian), never mind the next Griffey. With these numbers, he looks more like the next Tom Goodwin.

It's only April, and as the country warms up, no doubt some of these guys will, too. Except maybe Rey Ordonez. His temperature control only goes up to lukewarm.

* I know Mike Piazza's defense is OK. Just thinking like an uninformed Dodger fan.

about the author

Strikethree.com has taken the unprecedented step of insuring Dave Paisley against a bludgeoning at the hands of Rey Ordonez. Explain that Rey probably would swing and miss anyway at drdjp@strikethree.com.