Aliens: Illegal or Registered?

Dave Paisley

After my little discussion a couple of days ago on how a hot or cold start can seriously influence perceptions of a player's season, let's take a look at some examples from the early going this year. Starting with the unbelievably hot, here are some players who are definitely playing at some sort of otherworldly rate right now.

Question is, are they going to stay this good or are they impostors, destined for a brief shining moment on the leader board, only to fade back into obscurity in May? If they are aliens, or at least possessed by them, will they deserve to be deported back to their home planet in June, or will they take up permanent residence here?

Get Yer Aliens Here...

Frank Thomas .657/1.000/.577 (OBP/SLG/BA)
No question, Frank had something to prove coming into this season. After a career without a serious off-year, last season was just awful. Sure, personal problems were the root of it, and making him the full-time DH didn't appear to help, but who knew if he was thrown permanently out of kilter  or not.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have our answer. More determined than ever, Frank is just tearing it up. He won't be able to maintain a 1.657 OPS all season, but 1.300 isn't out of the question. This April could be one of Frank's best ever if he keeps this up.
Status: Registered

Derek Jeter .581/1.086/.486
Here's a middle-of-the-road candidate for permanent residence. Can Jeter take it up another notch to join Alex Rodriguez and Nomar Garciaparra at the highest ranks of shortstop offense? Personally I'm not convinced, but if he can keep this up through May I might be persuaded to give him his green card.
Status: Pending

Kevin Stocker .529/.633/.467
Undoubtedly the biggest impostor on this list, these numbers are about double Kevin's normal output. If you have him on a fantasy team, keep him 'til his weekly numbers fall off then trade him for something good. Otherwise, it's ten-foot pole time.
Status: Illegal - begin deportation proceedings immediately.

Jose Offerman .500/.829/.457
The $26M man seems to be earning his keep so far, but who believes he can really keep this up? Like Derek Jeter, Offerman's power numbers are boosted by a freakish number of triples (3 for Offerman, 4 for Jeter.) Don't expect Offerman to keep this up, and it's going to look pretty stupid when he returns to normal and he's still the DH.
Status: Illegal (especially if they keep DHing him.)

Omar Vizquel .538/.636/.455
Another guy way over his head, perhaps Little O is trying to persuade Indians management that he really is worth more than $3M a year. Normally a decent little hitter, Vizquel nevertheless won't stay up here for long.
Status: Permit denied.

Kenny Lofton .512/.686/.400
Another Indian, hmmm? Kenny was vastly overrated around '95-'96, but his brief swap with the Braves took some of the shine off his career. With Kenny and Omar putting up these kind of numbers at the top of the order, is it any wonder the Tribe are doing more than okay?
Status: Pending

Alex Gonzalez (Blue Jays) .444/.537/.390
What is it with shortstops' hitting this year? Is there some underground Alex Rodriguez videotape on "Hitting for Shortstops the Alex Rodriguez Way" circulating around clubhouses? You may have heard of the rule of thumb that says players have their best year at age 27. Well, guess how old Alex Gonzalez is this year? Actually, he'll be 26, but you get the idea.
Status: Illegal

Miguel Cairo .389/.500/.353
Again with the middle infielders. This is pretty unexpected from a typical light-hitting second baseman, and I expect Miguel to return to earth sooner rather than later. No visa for you.
Status: Illegal

Interesting Youngsters

Among all the veterans, there is a sprinkling of relatively untried youngsters. Here are a few.

Troy Glaus .488/.806/.417
Apparently ready for prime time. Fifty games last year with a sub-.600 OPS appear to be all the seasoning he would need to start bustin' out the whuppin' stick, as they like to say on Sportscenter.
Status: Registered

Miguel Tejada .412/.500/.375
Rumored to be a pretty hot-hitting prospect when he came up, Tejada hadn't shown a whole lot the past couple of years. A mere 23 years old in May, his progress to date should be no surprise, and with this start, he should start demonstrating exactly what was expected of him.
Status: Registered

Fernando Tatis .394/.615/.231
With more walks than hits, young Fernando is making the most out of that .231 batting average. With power and a decent eye at the plate (two factors that are generally related) he appears to be the steal of last year's trades. Do you think Texas might like him back?
Status: Registered

Chris Widger .389/.800/.371
Widger was one of many Mariner catching prospects that were the collective heirs to Dan Wilson's throne back in '95-'96. Well, the Mariners have zero catching prospects now, and Dan Wilson can only dream of having a month like Widger is having. Chris hasn't really shown much so far in the bigs, and I'd like to think he can do better than his .282/.383/.230 ML career before this year. Only time will tell how much better.
Status: Probably Illegal

about the author

Dave Paisley isn't one of the fat guys spelling out "I [heart] Da Rocket" on their bare, painted chests. In fact, one of those fat guys jostled Dave's abacus in the middle of figuring out Tino Martinez' Total Average, and Dave'd like to file a lawsuit. Send names and addresses to drdjp@strikethree.com.