Baseballhead:
Tony, Tony, Tony

Michael Cox

Welcome to Baseballhead, which we dedicate today to the fine examples of manhood who fought over Javy Lopez' homer at Veterans Stadium on Monday. Not only are they morons, they're now nationally known morons.

First order of business is to thank all those smart HTML-heads out there. After hearing that our live scores page (which, we hear, is more timely than those of the "big boys") doesn't auto-refresh, I had more offers of the <refresh> tag than I could shake a modem at. Unfortunately, like teaching Felix Fermin patience at the plate, if it were that simple we'd have done it already. Thanks, though.

Item: With less than a year of service time since he was caught in an intimate embrace with, er, smoking supplies, Tony Phillips has made news again. This time, however, he didn't just hurt himself. On Saturday Phillips, after being tagged out in a rundown, hooked the previously-surgically-repaired leg of Mariners IF Carlos Guillen, snapping a ligament and putting the rookie out for the season.

I can't say it surprises me. Phillips has a history of acting without regard to regulations or repercussions, whether it has been drugs, confronting hecklers in the stands, or playing with reckless disregard for interference rules or others' ACLs. Sure, he didn't mean to hurt Guillen -- he just wanted to take him down. Lots of people do potentially dangerous things without wanting to hurt anybody. When you're a professional, however, you're expected to have better judgment. But again, I expect that of Phillips, and I'm content in knowing that these are career-limiting moves for him.

What did surprise me was that next time he came up, Jeff Fassero didn't insert the ball manually into Phillips' ear. Of course, it is possible that Fassero was trying to hit him...

Item: Too bad about Mark Wohlers. At the very least, Atlanta fans can take solace in the fact that he may catch on with another NL team. I hear the Expos are in the market for broken-down former closers...

Item: Despite the NFL's best spin to the contrary, the Dodgers say they're happy with Chavez Ravine for now, thank you very much. In their attempt to place a flagship franchise in LA, the footballers have proposed a multi-sport complex on the site currently occupied by the Coliseum.

As you may already know, the second-worst thing about going to Raiders games (besides the Raiders themselves) was the bring-your-pepper-spray environment in the stadium parking lot (and sometimes even in the stands, but I think the Raiders just bring those fans with them as they move the team around). The answer? Put in a ballpark to fill the site 81 days a year, inspiring a golden road of upscale shops from there to the nearby Staples Center (home of the Lakers and Kings), and presumably, the extra police for whom the Chamber of Commerce would throw their weight around.

Certainly, there's something in it for the Dodgers: free ballpark, courtesy of the NFL (and you're not likely to see those words all together in one place again). But the fans are awfully fond of Dodger Stadium, and with good reason -- it was built with more foresight than any before or since. It's a wonderful place to watch baseball (with the possible exception of the fifth deck), it's sturdy with modern amenities like restaurants, club seats and wide concourses, and seems eminently upgradeable.

The site is perfect. LA is the one place where you can't really advocate a cozy downtown park, and if they decided to build a new one, there's no reason they couldn't do it right there while they continue to play in the old stadium. Still, don't count the Coliseum site out, because of not only the cozy relationship between Fox and the NFL, but because it's free, dammit!

Item: I've gotta admit that I haven't been following Barry Bonds' legal saga following his divorce (being easily bored by such stuff), so I was fairly amazed when I heard the verdict that came down Monday. Actually, not the verdict (Bonds' prenuptial agreement with ex-wife Sun is unenforceable), but the circumstances:

Sun Bonds didn't have a lawyer for the process, although her then-fiance did, and neither he nor his attorneys told her she should get one;

She was warned by Bonds' agent that the wedding was off unless she signed (remember, this is the day before the wedding);

The agreement was rife with typos (not really a legal point, just really bad form, especially for a guy who employs an agent and lawyers);

The California state appeals court judges said that Bonds or his representatives appeared to have altered the agreement before presenting it to the court.

Top that all off with the fact that Sun Bonds didn't speak much English, and you've got a pretty good case, I must admit. A lighter note was the dissenting judge's minority opinion, which stated that the finding "threatens the continued viability of thousands of existing premarital agreements."

Hell yeah -- I've even been working on an agreement of my own, should a potential Mrs. Cox come along. I've got a start: "Thee party agres that Michael getz to keep all of his muney mony, boy-ee!" Maybe Barry can help me tighten it up a bit.

Item: If you haven't been following the latest events in the saga of Les Expos, things are looking up. The province of Quebec has managed to uncover some funds after all, out of their tourism budget (why didn't they think about that before?). But before that money can be used to help build a new park for the team, the 'Spos' owners must come up with a workable business plan. In order for that to occur, Claude Brochu must get the hell out of Dodge.

Fans have gotten so incensed at Brochu's unwillingness to cooperate, egged on as usual by the sports-talk milieu that he's had to hire a bodyguard. Of course, he maintains that the people he's talked to have been "nothing but nice," but I understand his wariness: the average sports-radio talk show host could probably squash Brochu with one good leap.

about the author

Michael Cox was the original choice for captain of the celebrity team in this year's Rock 'N' Jock Baseball game, but he demurred after Snoop Dogg sent a couple of "friends" around. Explain that when they said they'd "bust a cap" that they didn't want to dance at mc@strikethree.com.