The AL Black Hole

Dave Paisley

The bad part about doing a series of analyses on every major league division is that sooner or later you have to deal with the American League Central. Sure, the NL Central is no bargain either, but at least it has the Astros, McGwire and Sosa. The AL Central only has the now-boring Indians and a bunch of teams that are just better off forgotten. It always astounds me that the likes of Kansas City and Detroit can get people to show up at all. I guess it is a testament to the fact that hope springs eternal even in the most unlikely places, not to mention the fact that every visiting team is worth watching that much more than the home team.

The AL Central is the home of the phrase:

"root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's the same..."

However, despite the fact that there are four teams that should be hidden from small children and frail elderly people, somebody's gotta do it, so if you'll just hold your breath for a while, here goes.

Maybe you can breathe freely for a couple of paragraphs, as I'll start with the Cleveland Indians. Once the butt of many a joke, the Indians are almost a yawn to pencil in for the Central division title. If you can win 85 games, you can win this division, and the Indians are easily better than that.

With an offense anchored by Jim Thome and Manny Ramirez, there's never been a problem scoring runs. The Alomar boys will surely have fun this year playing together, so maybe Robbie will once again become one of the premier second basemen in the league. With Lofton and Vizquel serving as the leadoff combo once again, runs should flow freely.

The pitching staff is another matter entirely. Conventional wisdom said that the lack of a true staff ace last year prevented the team from going all the way. Heck, they didn't even have a staff King, and let's just not contemplate the notion of a staff Queen. Neither Nagy nor Burba strike fear into the hearts of opposing batters, but Colon made big strides last year, while Jaret Wright didn't.

Overall, it's a decent rotation backed up by an excellent pen. Mike Jackson really blossomed as a closer last year, and Steve Reed was a smart pickup late in the season. Overall, there's no reason to suppose this team won't win about 90 games, and end up leading the division by at least ten.

Now it's noseplug time, and I just don't know where to start. The White Sox, Twins, Royals and Tigers all took different paths to get where they are, but somehow they all arrived in Suckville.

The White Sox had the nucleus of a world beater in '93, but a plethora of inexplicably ineptitudinous moves has destroyed the team. When even the perennially awesome Frank Thomas declines to the merely average, something big is wrong. We can point to the dismantling of the pitching staff a couple of years ago, but it's weirder than that.

Finally, the departure of Albert Belle and Robin Ventura has divested the team of any semblance of offense, to go along with the lack of any semblance of a pitching staff. The more I think about it, the worse this team gets. If I were White Sox management, I'd keep frank Thomas away from any sharp implements and belts. The guy is likely to get pretty melancholy by no later than May.

Sad to say, the White Sox may still be the second-best team in the division. Which leaves us with the Twins, for example. With the retirement of Bob Tewksbury, the Twins are struggling to find anyone to go with Brad Radke in the rotation. LaTroy Hawkins and Eric Milton struggled last year, but should benefit from the experience. After that, it gets ugly.

On the plus side, the retirement of Paul Molitor opens up huge potential for more production from the DH slot. However, they'll probably think having Brent Gates DH is a good idea, so scratch that thought. After all, they re-signed Terry Steinbach, who is now so far over the hill he'll need a GPS unit to find his way back to civilization.

And the next contestant please...oh, it's the Tigers. Detroit has been monkeying around a bit, and I have a suspicion they might creep close to .500 with a bit of luck. With Bobby Higginson, Tony Clark, Dean Palmer and Damion Easley, the offensive potential is reasonable, if not outstanding. Their starting pitching doesn't excite, but promises a modicum of competence. The bullpen looks pretty weak, though.

Finally, the team that can't buy a clue -- the Kansas City Royals. Once the home of George Brett, Dan Quisenberry and a host of talent, it now belongs to the likes of Johnny Damon, Jeff King and Jeff Conine. And those are the stars. Why Kevin Appier stays there wasting his time is beyond me.

This team could field an entire lineup without a single player getting over an .800 OPS. If you don't know OPS from a kick in the head, let me tell you that's bad. Very bad. Allied to the fact that they don't have a pitching staff, they might not win 50 games. Let's just hope the concessions at Kauffman are pretty good, because the baseball will be awful.

So, to sum up, as I must do, it looks like Cleveland, followed by a close battle between Chicago and Detroit, with Minnesota dragging along and maybe you'd better bring that telescope if you want to keep tabs on Kansas City.

about the author

Dave Paisley is begging Royals manager Tony Muser not to have his pitchers throw at Dave's head for making the above dire prediction. Explain that Appier is the only one likely to be able to get a pitch anywhere near the press box.