Hot Dog! Vendor lands big contract

Jason Michael Barker

Arlington, TX -- And you thought the Mike Piazza contract was insane.

Continuing the frightening trend of increasing contracts in Major League Baseball, the Texas Rangers have inked free-agent hot dog vendor Randy Williams to a four-year deal worth over 16 million dollars. Williams will receive $2M in 1999, $4M in 2000, and $5M in both 2001 and 2002. The deal includes a $6M club option for the 2003 season, in addition to a $500K signing bonus.

"I'm very happy with this contract," said Williams, speaking from his home in Pittsburgh, where he has been a vendor for the past four seasons. "I would have liked to close out my career with the Pirates, but they just weren't prepared to pay me what my agent and I feel I'm worth."

Williams is considered one of the top hot dog vendors in baseball, although many insiders feel this contract will negatively affect the current pay structure.

One American League scout noted, "Randy's a good vendor, but he just doesn't have the versatility you like to see. He hasn't sold soda since 1995, and he's never shown the ability to sell peanuts." The scout said Rick "The Peanut Guy" of the Mariners is probably the best all-around vendor in the game. "If Williams is worth 16 million, how much will Rick be worth when his contract is up? Where will it stop?"

Williams, 29, led all vendors in total hot dogs sold in 1998, as well as having the top mustard percentage in the National League in both 1996 and 1997. However, he is often noted for failing to deliver in the clutch -- among the top 30 hot dog vendors in baseball, Williams ranked #23 in sales after the sixth inning.

"It's not my fault," Williams said of his poor late-inning sales. "Have you ever been to a Pirates game? There's nobody left after the seventh. If the fans won't support what I'm doing, of course I won't have as many sales."

Frank Sanders, head of vending for the Ballpark at Arlington, agreed. "Much like RBI, sales are a function of the fans around you. You can yell 'hot dogs!' 'till you're blue in the face, but if there aren't any fans to buy them, you don't have anything to show for it. I think you'll see Randy establish himself as the top vendor in the game next season."

According to sources within the organization, the Pirates never seriously tried to re-sign Williams after contract negotiations broke down last August. "We would have liked to bring him back, sure," said a front office official. "He's one of the best, and we wish him well, but we got the feeling that he just didn't want to be here."

As compensation for losing Williams to free agency, the Pirates will receive four gross of hot dog buns and 50 gallons of mustard. Pittsburgh, with needs at both hot dog and peanut vendor, is expected to pursue two or three lower-priced, lower-profile free-agents to fill the void left by Williams.

about the author

Jason Michael Barker is no stranger to the vending game, inventing french fries that season themselves when you pop them in your mouth. Try to avoid asking about the subsequent lawsuits at jmb@strikethree.com.