Free Agent Bargains: an Oxymoron?

Derek Zumsteg

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Left Field

Name	Age	OBP	SLG	OPS
Glenallen Hill	33	.360	.544	.904
Shane Mack	35	.342	.445	.787
B.J. Surhoff	34	.330	.440	.770
Tim Raines	39	.389	.377	.766
Gregg Jefferies	31	.336	.406	.742
Derrick May	30	.319	.394	.713
Rickey Henderson	40	.374	.331	.705
Rich Amaral	36	.342	.343	.685
Willie McGee	40	.287	.331	.618
Warren Newson	34	.278	.294	.572

Glenallen sure looks attractive (in the statistical sense). However, I wouldn't hire him if you threatened my beloved Total Baseball with all my cramped margin notes. He's easily the laziest, most incompetent baserunner and fielder in all the land. Terrible. My first choice is the unnoticed BJ Surhoff, who might be a steal for a two-year deal. Shane Mack would also be a good choice for a one-year deal. I'm in favor of snapping Tim Raines up on the cheap for that juicy OBP, better than Rickey's - with more power to boot, but Mack'd do just as well. The dregs (Amaral, bless him, McGee, apparently still playing, and Newson, terrible at 34) are to be avoided.

Center Field

Name	Age	OBP	SLG	OPS
Bernie Williams	30	.424	.590	1.014
Ellis Burks	34	.373	.513	.886
Darryl Hamilton	34	.398	.405	.803
Devon White	36	.333	.464	.797
Steve Finley	33	.300	.403	.703
Darren Lewis	31	.343	.351	.694
Otis Nixon	39	.354	.333	.687
John Cangelosi	35	.342	.302	.644

Bernie's been getting better every year, and now it appears he's invincible. Unfortunately, his scumbag agent (did I say that?) wants an insane contract. On this finely assembled team, I'd make a run at it. Maybe offer him a share of the gate or something. Ellis Burks isn't that good, and the rest of this lineup makes me pale. When did Darren Lewis find the time to get this bad? I'm forced to sign Williams for whatever he wants.

Right Field

Name	Age	OBP	SLG	OPS
John Vander Wal	32	.387	.526	.913
Brian Jordan	31	.360	.530	.890
Eric Davis	36	.359	.493	.852
Joe Carter	38	.288	.431	.719
Lenny Harris	34	.313	.390	.703

Vander Wal is a utility player with inflated Colorado stats. Stay away. The steal here would be Brian Jordan. I can't bring myself to put a lot of stock in Eric Davis anymore, but if I lose the bidding for Jordan I'll be happy to get him instead of Joe Carter. I'd play a different fan in right every day to avoid giving Joe Carter another plate appearance. And Lenny Harris? Yeeeeeee.

Catcher

Name	Age	OBP	SLG	OPS
Mike Piazza	30	.383	.568	.951
Bill Haselman	32	.323	.560	.883
Jim Leyritz	35	.389	.469	.858
Terry Steinbach	36	.318	.425	.743
John Marzano	35	.326	.402	.728
Lenny Webster	33	.302	.424	.726
Tom Lampkin	34	.331	.390	.721
Joe Girardi	34	.320	.396	.716
Mike MacFarlane	34	.288	.390	.678
Carlos Hernandez	31	.307	.369	.676
Kirt Manwaring	33	.338	.332	.670
Benito Santiago	33	.279	.387	.666
Scott Servais	31	.290	.345	.635
Joe Oliver	33	.271	.339	.610
Pat Borders	35	.296	.282	.578
Mark Parent	37	.278	.283	.561

Boy, if Piazza's troubled year brings his price tag down at all, sign him. Don't even think twice. Haselman's hit pretty well behind Pudge, and would be an excellent backup signing. I sign them both and give Piazza plenty of rest between the DH slot and days off while Haselman mans the plate. Leyritz might be a decent signing, but he's into the tail end of his career. Due for another ass whupping, by my estimation. I'd go all the way down the list and snap up Lenny Webster for pennies. A word on Benito Santiago: I've never liked Benito, and he's never even tried to redeem himself. A waste.

Designated Hitter

Name	Age	OBP	SLG	OPS
Jose Canseco	34	.326	.528	.854
Paul Molitor	42	.332	.371	.703
Geronimo Berroa	33	.324	.305	.629
Terry Pendleton	38	.294	.333	.627

Given the choice, I wouldn't sign any of these guys. Canseco's comeback is overrated - but I understand he's hardly beaten up any women this year. Good for him. Stay the hell away from my team. I sign Berroa to as short a deal as I can manage, since I'm barred from, say, trading for one of the thousand all-hit no-field prospects that languish in the minors of high-payroll clubs.

Recap

Position	First Choice	Second Choice	Avoid
1B	Mo Vaughn	Will Clark	Jaha
2B	Jose Offerman	Delino DeShields	everyone else
SS	Alex Arias	Rey Sanchez	Ozzie Guillen
3B	Naehring/Palmer	Ken Caminiti	Ed Sprague
LF	BJ Surhoff	Raines/Mack	Amaral/McGee/Newson
CF	Bernie Williams	Daryl Hamilton	Nixon-Lewis
RF	Brian Jordan	Eric Davis	Joe Carter, who sucks
C	Mike Piazza	Lenny Webster	Oliver/Borders
DH			all these jokers

The All-Free Agent Team

Who	Probable yearly contract
Will Clark	$4M
Jose Offerman	$5M
Alex Arias	$3M
Tim Naehring	$3.5M
BJ Surhoff	$2M
Bernie Williams	$11M
Brian Jordan	$4.5M
Piazza - Haselman	$10M and $2M
(pause) Berroa, I guess	$2M
Total	47 meeeelion dollars!

And I still have to fill out a pitching staff. I feel like I'm running the Arizona Diamondbacks. I hope this shows, to some extent, that buying free agents means that you pay a premium for older, known players. It's difficult to ever find bargains. Were this a real team, I'd be rescuing stuck minor leaguers instead of paying Berroa, for one. I think several of these players might well sign for much less, and Williams might well go for 12, with Piazza barely behind. I'd also prefer to spend all of my money on pitchers, because you get better value for your dollar.

My complaining aside, this is a pretty good team (albeit with two injury risks), and I think where I've spent a ton of money it's been spent well, to avoid paying slightly less for a much worse player. A team should never pay a lot for a bad player, regardless of the bidding, or their needs. Unless, um, it's Berroa and you need a DH to fill out that spot.

 

about the author

Derek Zumsteg was one of the final candidates for the Dodgers' GM job, before he revealed that if offered a beer for Eric Karros, he'd hold out for two beers. Sympathize at dmz@strikethree.com.