Let's Play Six!

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Mets vs. Cardinals Game 2

Weather: 79 degrees, clear.

9:10 - Game starts. McGwire is announced in lineup to mad, crazy applause.
9:17 - McGwire walks. Booing.
9:20 - Edgardo Alfonso launches a 393-ft. homer.
9:24 - Piazza steps to the plate, to cheering of McGwire-like proportions.
9:32 - We get booted from our "borrowed" seats behind the Mets' on-deck circle and retreat to higher ground.
9:52 - We arrive in section 22 of the mezzanine.
9:57 - McGwire strikes out to mad, crazy applause from the same people who cheered his home runs earlier.
10:15 - On Fernando Tatis' steal attempt, Piazza throws the ball to second. It goes into center field instead. Tatis advances to third.
10:27 - Rey Ordonez walks to load the bases for the pitcher.
10:30 - The pitcher, Armando Reynoso, K's for the third out.
10:32 - A sellout crowd of 52,320 is announced.
10:38 - McGwire steps to the plate. There is cheering.
10:42 - McGwire strikes out. There is cheering.
10:44 - A lady wanders into our section of seats looking lost. A man asks, "She's been here for 10 hours, she doesn't know where she's sitting yet?"
10:52 - We sneak back down to the field level and occupy two empty seats on the third base side.
11:02 - Janine and I note that Willie McGee looks like E.T.
11:17 - Drunk Guy yells, "Throw a pitch, it's 11:17!"
11:17:30 - I am sleep-deprived and succumb to a giggle fit.
11:24 - McGwire steps to plate and Drunk Guy encourages pitcher to "Hit this guy!"
11:42 - Fans play "Name that Year" on the DiamondVision. The correct answer is 1979. Janine is two in 1979, but gets it right anyway.
11:45 - I notice sign that reads "Impeach Clinton, Elect Olerud."
12:03 - Mets win 1-0.

Total playing time: 6 Hours, 16 Minutes
Total time spent at Shea: 9 Hours, 1 Minute

Day Three - August 22, 1998
Mets vs. Diamondbacks

Weather: 75 degrees, sunny.

7:00 - Wake up. Make numerous attempts to wake Janine, who is tired after a foray into the New York drinking scene that doesn't end until 5 a.m.
9:30 - Finally succeed in waking Janine.
10:20 - Depart for Shea.
11:20 - Arrive at Shea for "Mets Photo Day." We are allowed to enter the field through the center field wall and make our way around the warning track to take pictures of the Mets players and coaches. For some reason, when my beautiful blonde cousin thanks the players for their cooperation, they say, "No, thank you."
12:42 - Organist busts into "Fly" by Sugar Ray.
12:53 - Organist follows up with "The Way" by Fastball. Janine and I "raise the roof."
1:15 - Game starts.
1:21 - Bernard Gilkey, recently traded from the Mets to the Diamondbacks, steps to the plate and is booed before, during, and after his base hit to left.
2:00 - Hundley gives everyone a heart attack with a very, very long foul ball.
2:16 - It's now Olerud's turn to scare us with a very long foul ball.
2:17 - Bases are loaded for Mike Piazza. As the crowd erupts into uncharacteristic cheering, I think to myself how cool it would be if he hit a grand slam.
2:20 - Piazza hits a grand slam, and I curse myself for not having called it.
2:23 - Piazza resumes his place behind the plate to enthusiastic applause.
2:26 - Piazza makes a great play in foul territory, falling into the Diamondbacks' dugout, pretty much at Bernard Gilkey's feet.
2:28 - We start the "Things we'd like to do to Travis Lee" list.
2:37 - Rey Ordonez on the on-deck circle inspires us to sing a chorus of "I'm Too Sexy."
2:44 - We agree that Andy Benes is pretty cute as we watch him strike out.
2:47 - Between innings, a crowd shot of a couple is displayed on the DiamondVision. The public address announcer asks Tammy to read the scoreboard, which reads, "Tammy, will you marry me? Love, Brian." The couple on the DiamondVision looks confused. It's the wrong couple. The announcer apologizes. The next inning begins.
2:52 - As he crouches in front of us for an afternoon, Janine and I decide we enjoy watching Angel Hernandez for reasons unrelated to Baseball, even though we know that watching umpires is Dylan Bumbarger's job.
2:59 - Janine and I debate who is the better looking member of the battery, Bobby Jones or Mike Piazza. It would seem that the sleep-deprived fan is a fan easily distracted.
3:29 - Tammy and Brian are found. It turns out they are sitting directly behind us. Tammy says yes.
3:56 - I am many times coated with sunblock, I am "moist," I stopped keeping score and I ate a hotdog with kraut. My shoes are caked with warning track dust and I think I smell bad.
4:05 - We agree that Angel Hernandez has really nice hair.
4:20 - Mets celebrate their 9-4 win over the Diamondbacks to the strains of "Wild Boys" by Duran Duran.

Total playing time: 3 Hours, 0 Minutes
Total time spent at Shea: 5 Hours, 0 Minutes

Day Four - August 23, 1998
Mets vs. Diamondbacks

Due to a previous social engagement, Janine and I forfeit this game. The Mets lose 4-3.

Day Five - August 24, 1998
Mets vs. Diamondbacks

6:30 am - I check the weather to find that the forecast is predicting 100% humidity, a temperature of 95 degrees, and a severe thunderstorm watch. During the ride to Penn Station to drop off Janine, I contemplate not going to the game. It seems strange not to go. I am suffering withdrawal symptoms. I consult my friend Vicky, who thinks I'm crazy to even consider going. I resign myself to watching the game on television. Other than the ejection of Bobby Valentine in the eighth, the game is an uneventful 9-5 loss.

What did I learn from this experience? New York fans are tough, not to mention inconsistent. They want to see McGwire break the record, but not at the expense of the Mets' wild card race. Piazza is booed, unless he does something really spectacular, like hitting a grand slam. Even then, the residual good will only lasts until the next at-bat. Meanwhile, Hundley receives mammoth applause for completing the simplest plays in left, while his batting average remains below .200. And the fans never lost their sense of humor, no matter how late it got.

As for me, the sum total of baseball consumed in those three days is 13 hours and 49 minutes. Add batting practice and the time between games, and my total time spent at Shea in a 49-hour period equals 21 hours and 45 minutes.

I have no regrets. After all, there are only nine more home games this season.

Melissa Hughes is sleeping. We expect her to be doing so for some time to come, only occasionally snapping out of Dreamland to mutter something incoherent about Angel Hernandez' hair. Send quiet e-mail to mh@strikethree.com.