You've Gotta Walk McGwire

Derek Zumsteg

Baseball media has chased McGwire chasing Maris ruthlessly (sorry) this year, and now apparently also feel like they need to participate. They're writing about how pitchers shouldn't walk McGwire. The argument, basically, is that it's wimpy. Their arguments are a fine catalog of all that's wrong with baseball writing.

It's funny that this call for manly pitcher-slugger combat comes from a baseball media obsessed with speed and defense, the two hallmarks of the wimpy player. Players like Mike Bordick and Rey Ordonez are regularly lauded by the media for their savvy play in the field, but they flop around at the plate like ineffective fishes. But when it's time for a story to be made, a story all the color commentators can then babble about, they're ready to take the other side. I guess the ideal media player would hit lots of home runs but walk and then steal a base the rest of the time (while disabling the RealPlayer).

These commentators and empty-brained columnists say that pitchers should be manly, and either make the history books as part of the record or get out of the jam and be proud. This is the same kind of argument that lauds Joe Carter, RBI Vulture, as a fine player. The pitchers are supposed to have a job to do, and that's do battle, and if they can't do it, they're less then men. But a pitcher's real job is to win games, not act manly, just like a soldier's job may be to retreat and face a lesser foe (like Brian Jordan).

And if being part of history is a good argument to give up a home run, why not just serve McGwire fastballs a little in, just where he likes them? Be the first to give up three HRs to him in a game! Why not - you'll certainly be in the history books. Also ESPN highlights! The increased media attention will get you interviews, mentions in next year's flimsy baseball annuals. Isn't that what it's all about?

There's a simple reason why McGwire should be walked each and every time he's at the plate: it'll win you games. McGwire does five things, and five things only:

• 10% chance he takes you out of the park
• 13% chance he gets a hit not a home run
• 21% chance he strikes out
• 31% chance he makes another kind of out
• 25% chance he walks

Or, to sum up:

• 52% chance you get him out
• 25% chance he walks anyway
• 23% chance he gets a hit, of which half (half!) will be homers.

The average McGwire at-bat: he makes it around first and takes a good look at second.

It's not worth it. Giving McGwire a free base every time he's at bat makes the opposing team more likely to win games. Baseball isn't about being macho, or being part of history, it's about winning one game, and the next, until you've won the World Series. If history occurs, if McGwire or Griffey beats the record, they should do it not because they have a cheering section armed with microphones, cameras, and column inches, but because they're among the best athletes of our time.

Let the pitchers pitch, and let the game play out.

Derek Zumsteg always attends Hall of Fame Weekend, and always ends up mesmerized by the video loop of "Who's On First?". Perhaps if you explain that Bud Abbott never really managed a team at dmz@strikethree.com, he'll finally understand.