Baseballhead:
Steinbrenner of the West

Michael Cox

With my feet back on Northwest soil, leaving indentations that are a little less deep due to my careless wagering on the Mariners, as well as a marathon blackjack session...but I digress. Not the most exciting week, news-wise, but fortunately, my ass has been pulled out o' the fire by some late events...

Item: The Fox ownership junta decided to shake up their disappointing Dodgers on Monday by firing longtime GM Fred Claire and unproven manager Bill Russell, putting in their place...well, longtime manager Tommy Lasorda (as GM) and unproven manager Glenn Hoffman.

This was a mixed-message move, from where I stand (that is, on a pinnacle not nearly as lofty as that of Fox execs. Okay, not on a pinnacle at all). Claire likely had it coming. The Piazza trade was done without his help or consent, proving that ownership did not have confidence in him, and Claire perpetrated the double bungle by not only failing to trade for Randy Johnson, but also allegedly leaking details of the trade-that-never-was to MSNBC's Bob Nightengale, then getting caught. (Speaking of Nightengale, he has subsequently come up with a column claiming that the Johnson/Valdes non-deal has created more "damage" than any non-deal in MLB history, implying that it's what sent Piazza to Florida and Nomo to New York, which should make anyone with an IQ above 60 laugh hysterically. Hint: Move on. You're only hurting yourself.)

However, the piece of this puzzle that reveals Dodger ownership's true colors was the firing of Russell. It was just the kind of face-saving, "if you can't win it all with all these stars I got you, you're fired" move that we're so used to seeing in the Bronx. If you think that Lasorda is going to make even one player move of his own accord, you've gotta be insane. Dodger fans, be afraid. Be very afraid...

Item: The Cards have restricted media access to Mark "Still not Maris" McGwire. Restricted, that is, to only one pre-game interview per series, plus the usual post-game conversation. Boy, I don't know how anybody could write a story out of only about 75 minutes of interview time every three days. I sure feel sorry for those beat writers. C'mon now, I've watched post-game interviews with Mac, and if these guys would bother asking new questions each time, maybe they could put something interesting in their articles. (At last count, he still has to hit 29 HR in just over six months to break the record. Those are still long odds, but for the record, I hope he gets it - it couldn't happen to a classier guy.)

As for MacMan intimating that he may not show for pre-game BP, that's a bit more dicey because it deprives the game of some fan excitement that is sorely needed. However, when batting practice starts getting more insane than the game, that's another story.

Item: Mets C Todd Hundley wins his bid for job security as the team grants him a no-trade deal. They either really like what they saw during the first part of his rehab assignment, or they're thinking about what they might get on the open market for 1B John Olerud. My money's on the latter, because I truly don't believe the Mets are done dealing. Still, although the concept of chemistry is unproven in any way, shape or form, so is the premise that you can keep an entire team in a state of flux and looking over their shoulders, but still win...

Item: A few more players were hit by pitches in the American League this week, yet AL prez Dr. Gene "Kick Me" Budig has done nothing, except in the case of Mike Stanton hitting Eric Davis. Hey Doc, if you're gonna go after guys who throw inside, you can't just do it when it's a high-profile plunking. You have to be consistent. NL boss Len Coleman has picked his spots, yet has been much more effective because he knows things like the difference between a slider and a fastball. When the Mariners-Giants interleague series turned into a symphony of chin music (and spikes), Budig made no move to suspend any of the Seattle miscreants. This was because Coleman's treatment (or lack of same) of the Giants hurlers would have made Dr. Gene look like the knee-jerk excuse for Dean Wormer that he is.

But I say that in the best possible way.

Item: Bud Selig plays coy with reporters while failing to actually deny that he will accept a permanent job as commissioner, thus rendering Jerry McMorris' gathering of candidates a royal farce. Selig has wanted this all along, and was simply waiting until the media and fans stopped treating him so harshly (read: a couple of years of labor peace) before acquiescing to his friends', er, I mean other owners, pleas that he take the post.

Prediction: After Selig officially begins his reign, we can look forward to at least ten years of suspicious "fan polls" supporting any cockamamie plan he might have. Radical realignment will get pushed through with great speed. Best buddy Jerry "Bulls Good, Sox Bad" Reinsdorf will continue to cast token votes against Selig's plans...but only when his vote isn't required to pass them.

Before we part, last week I mentioned an obscure player named Alex Martinez, who I claimed caused Jeff Kent's injury during the M's-Giants series. In fact it was Alex Rodriguez who ran into Kent. Alex Martinez likely was sent down or something, because there's no record of his ever appearing in an MLB game. "Second spiker theory," anyone?

Boy, do I feel a whole lot better now. Back with more therapy next Tuesday.

Michael Cox is certain that the blackjack dealers knew when he was coming, and that all the guys watching the closed-circuit overhead video gathered around and laughed. If you can get hold of tapes, Michael would like you to contact him at mc@strikethree.com, because he's heard that "America's Funniest Videos" pays well.