Baseballhead:
American Idle

Michael Cox

Welcome again to Baseballhead, where we'd just rather pretend we never watched that episode of "Paradise Hotel."

Interleague play is done for another season, and this year's edition did much to remind me that Matrix Reloaded was playing down the street. Even the one exception I can think of - the tension-filled Mariners-Braves series - was only exciting because of the teams' records and the October implications. And if the M's and Bravos do face off in the Series, the one we saw in June will be naught but a footnote anyway.

The Yankees did manage to take advantage of their "natural rivalry" with the oafish and shiftless Mets, along with their "unnatural rivalry" with Tampa Bay, to get on the good foot again. (Oh, and without belaboring the point: no matter what American sportswriters will have you believe, Ichiro Suzuki has been, and still is, more popular in Japan than Hideki Matsui. Buh-bye now.)

But the Yankees' good fortune pales next to that of the Diamondbacks, who have ridden the interleague interval back to respectability without the services of Randy Johnson, Curt Schilling or Matt Mantei (and almost as amazingly, with the services of Tony Womack and Quinton McCracken). Since interleague play started this year the Snakes have gone 19-5, including (at press time) a 12-game winning streak.

The D-Backs didn't lose a single interleague series, cutting a swath not only through the crappy AL Central, but sweeping three series against equally mediocre NL Central teams (will any Central division clubs finish the year above .500? Stay tuned). Then there's the fact that Arizona's "natural rivalry" weekend paired them with the Tigers, which is akin to finding out your blind date was a co-star in the Charlie's Angels movie (and I'm not talking about Bernie Mac).

The big interleague losers? That Olde English "D" stands for "Duh."

So now we begin looking ahead to this year's All-Star Game, which, as FOX has spared no expense to remind us, actually counts this time. In the spirit of this new actual counting, MLB decided that the best way for players to pull together for the glory of their respective leagues would be to dress them alike. In other words, the Midsummer Classic would be played while outfitted in the same kind of genericwear they've been forced to don for the Home Run Derby.

Mind you, the motivation was not likely altruistic - especially since the jersey styling was determined by the same clothing manufacturer who created this year's pug-ugly batting practice togs. And what do you know, the 2003 All-Star tops have the exact same faux-underarm-sweat detailing. Hey, at least this year they're black and white, and not the hurl-inspired colors worn by the All-Star squads in Milwaukee.

Even though the plan was not made widely known, the reaction was swift and violent. It's bad enough that Home Run Derby participants have to wear generic duds (especially since the Home Run Derby is an individual competition, not league vs. league). And after the multilevel fiasco that was last year's All-Star week in his own hometown, Commissioner Bud is especially sensitive to anything that draws fan criticism, as long as big money's not involved.

So, the 2003 All-Star Game will have to count while players wear their individual teams' doubleknits. Sometimes the good guys win.

Extra bonus paragraph: Meanwhile, with both Jeff Kent and second-stringer Jose Vizcaino on the DL, Astros manager Jimy Williams has insisted that not even the wrath of God will convince him to briefly return Craig Biggio to second base. I imagine Williams saying, "Hell, I stood up to Dan Duquette for years, and he had a far bigger ego than the Almighty."

about the author

Michael Cox isn't one to complain, but...well, okay, he is one to complain. Just don't provoke him at mc@strikethree.com.