Not At All Stars

Dave Paisley

Yes folks, it?s that time of year when fans are mobbed by ushers and emails from MLB urging them to Vote! Vote! Vote! For the All-Star teams. In Tampa Bay the mobbing is particularly bad, as the ushers outnumber the paying spectators about three to one. What?s up with that? I mean, aren?t the Tampa fans tripping over themselves to see Lou Piniella chew out yet another lackadaisical Devil Ray effort? Has he given up throwing bases? But I digress.

With the new ?Winner gets home field advantage in the World Series? rule in place, I thought I could provide a useful service to fans of both leagues by helping them to sneak some really bad players onto the opposite league?s team. While everyone else is arguing about Rocco Baldelli?s right to a starting outfield position, I?ll be working the other end of the scale.

Now, you?d think that getting on an All-Star ballot would be a pretty prestigious event, right? Well, it?s not as hard as you might think. Take Jack Wilson (please!), the Pirates shortstop. A career .609 OPS, and he?s on the ballot this year. Or Travis Hafner, the Indians 1B - 97 major league ABs coming into the season and he?s on the ballot. All you need is a presumed starting job coming out of spring training, and there you go.

So let?s just say that being on an All-Star ballot isn?t that great an honor, and without further ado, let?s see who you should be punching your ballots for. Notre that I?ll be picking only players who have played enough to qualify as everyday players eligible for batting honors. So Travis Hafner, although truly awful so far, doesn?t qualify because he?s on the DL. Besides, it?s not funny to make jokes about the injured.

First Base
If you?re an NL fan, your main candidates are looking like Paul Konerko (.605 OPS), Carlos Pena (.690) and Scott Spiezio (.703). Konerko is way off his career numbers, and the White Sox are surely desperate to get him going. For AL fans, the choice in the senior circuit is clear, and it?s a face that will be very familiar - Tino Martinez (.694). Tino is so far back of Sean Casey he?d need a telescope to see him, so this one is no contest.

Second Base
NL fans, you may have been denied Travis Hafner, but here?s an alternative Indian for you - Brandon Phillips (.645), the Tribe?s 2B. Sure, you could be tempted by the Devil Ray?s Marlon Anderson (.689), but I wouldn?t if I were you. The choice of Senior circuit 2B isn?t as easy for AL fans. It looks like a shootout between the Dodgers? Alex Cora (.696) at the bottom of the heap, and the Padres? Mark Loretta (.705). With severe park effects for both, take your pick, but I?d take Cora personally, as these numbers are quite the overachievement for him so far.

Third Base
A couple of weeks ago, NL fans would have been happy to take Mariner Jeff Cirillo (.623) at 3B, but I wouldn?t want them to overlook the White Sox? Joe Crede (.606) However, if you are trying to balance your scorecard between teams and you already took Konerko, then Cirillo provides a nice fallback. Besides, he?s about the only Mariner that with a shot at making this team. For AL fans, Adrian Beltre (.574) is the bottom feeder, but David Bell (.649) may be a more sure mediocre choice, especially if you account for park effects.

Shortstop
If you NL fans are about to punch that chad for Rey Ordonez, I have one word for you. Stop! Not only is Rey not quite a qualifier, with only 117 AB so far, but he?s beating the bejeesus out of the ball so far with his fancy .815 OPS (.316 Avg/.328 OBP/ .487 SLG). No, your best bets this year are the O?s Deivi Cruz (.539) and Detroit?s Omar Infante (.544). In many ways, it?s surprising that Infante is the first Tiger to show up so far (but don?t worry, there are more?) AL fans can rest assured there are lots of choices over ion the senior circuit, led by yet another Dodger, Cezar Izturis (.575). After him, there are the Brewers? Royce Clayton (.626) and the aforementioned Jack Wilson (.648). Again, allowing for the park effects, I?d say this is pretty much your choice.

Catcher
Here?s one category where we have to relax the playing time standards, as few catchers meet the criteria. Bottom of the AL heap is the Tiger?s Brandon Inge (.479, and yes that?s his OPS.) Too many Tigers for you? Try the Tribe?s Josh Bard (.588) Too many Indians? Move on up to the O?s Brook Fordyce (.605) or the Rangers? Einar Diaz (.611). Over in the NL, there?s not quite the abundance, starting with the Spos? and the Stros? Michael Barrett (.523) and the Brad Ausmus (.556). All the other regulars start around the .700 OPS mark, so you don?t want any piece of those monsters.

Outfield
On the ballot, all the outfielders get lumped together, so I?ll do the same. In the AL, there are only eight everyday outfielder ssporting an OPS below .750, so here they are: Gary Matthews Jr (Bal, .577), Carl Crawford (TB, .635), Ben Grieve (TB, .649), Hideki Matsui (NYY, .669) Matt Lawton (Cle, .676), Terrence Long (Oak, .707), Johnny Damon (Bos, .738) and Torii Hunter (Min, .742). You can make quite a high profile outfield out of that - Matsui, Lawton, Damon would be my picks for sheer name recognition. Some people might even mistake that for a hard hitting outfield. But they?d be wrong.

In the NL, the floor isn?t quite so low, and the names not as big. The bottom three are Endy Chavez (Mon, .645), Juan Pierre (Fla, .694) and Alex Sanchez (Mil, .696). Other notables in the bottom ten: Pat Burrell (Phi, .766), Craig Biggio (Hou, .790) and Shawn Green (LA, .797). Note there?s nothing terribly wrong with those latter OPS values, though.

Designated Hitter
This category features a small anomaly this year. Carl Everett was listed as a DH by Texas at the start of the season, and so is on the ballot as such. However, he?s played LF almost exclusively, so should he qualify as a DH? Well, it?s a moot point here, because with his 1.074 OPS nobody will be picking him for the team we?re putting together. Nor Edgar Martinez (1.030). No, what we want are the likes of the Tigers? Dean Palmer (.397 OPS in 86 AB) or Al Martin (TB, .659). Then there?s Ken Harvey (KC, .677) or Jeremy Giambi (Bos, .738) After that, guys start hitting so you?re taking a chance there.

So there it is - your strikethree.com guide to ?How to Help Your League Win Home Field in the World Series?.

about the author

Who's your best and worst pick for the All-Star team? Send your thoughts to Dave Paisley at drdjp@strikethree.com.