Baseballhead:
It's a Mad, Mad World (Series)

Michael Cox

This edition of Baseballhead is brought to you by the new Jackass movie, which as we understand it consists of two hours of guys devising increasingly complex means of hitting each other in the groin.

My distaste for the Wild Card is a dead horse which I believe has been whipped into individual horse molecules by now, so I'm trying to enjoy this all-Wild Card World Series for what it is: a team with our generation's greatest player (has Mike Scioscia learned his lesson yet? Stay tuned and find out) versus a team with batty fans.

Seriously, having been to Anaheim more times than I can count, I'm yet to understand where all these Angel fans come from. Despite the heart-tugging "gram an' gramps who were there in '61" stories you've read in the media, it seems like the average Halo hailer is about 21 years old, male and shirtless.

This is actually a good thing, as it means we aren't hearing a repeat of the '95 bandwagon, whose trademark annoying game-long whistling was likely the cause of that team's season-ending slide. The current crop seems to favor the relatively placid activity of whacking their Thunder Stix to the theme from "Car Wash," although after Game 2 I was pleasantly surprised to see hundreds literally doing their darnedest to drown out Peter Gammons. Gammons did not look amused. There was a piece of paper thrown; arrests may have been made.

The Series now moves to Pac Bell Park (motto: "we don't take kindly to mascots 'round here") where the fans are traditionally crazy, as opposed to cyclically nuts, and where they actually attend games even in years when their team isn't in first place, except for a smoke break in the '70s.

With two World Series games "in the can" (as they say in Hollywood), we've seen two close, exciting games, one a low-scoring chess match, the other a 11-10 mashfest where, oddly, Dusty Baker didn't get nearly the stick for not using Robb Nen in the eighth that Scioscia did for failing to bring in Troy Percival in Game 1 of the Division Series. Of course, that's probably because lashing into Baker would have delayed ESPN's rerun of NFL Prime Time.

Prediction? Well, aside from last week's wild guess, the portents of fate are all even:

• The team with home-field advantage has lost every postseason series this year.
  Advantage: Giants.
   
  
• The Angels have lost every opening game, but came back to win both the Division Series and ALCS.
  Advantage: Angels.

Where this year's home-field disadvantage is concerned, I choose to blame it on the Thunder Stix, although this article suggests the infernal implements are an even bigger source of Korean national pride than the Daewoo, including this testimonial from an (oddly anonymous) American fan:

"The thunderous noise made by the 'stix' turns people crazy, bringing great excitement to the field," said a baseball fan living in LA.

The article didn't say whether this was the same guy who's been giving the New York Daily News their inside information on Lou Piniella (who occasionally brings his own great excitement to the field, then rests for a month).

Speaking of Sweet Lou, there's not much to speak of this week, despite the ability of the New York media to write endless pages on the subject. I would restate my opinion of the NYC tabloids, but as the old saw goes, never pick a fight with someone who buys their idiots by the barrel.

Instead, I'll allow them to hoist themselves by their own petards (that's gotta hurt):

One source familiar with the negotiations told The News yesterday that the Devil Rays were equally outraged by the Mariners' initial demands. - New York Daily News, Oct. 18.

"Because of our fine personal relationship with Chuck Armstrong and the Mariners, we were very pleased we could arrive at an expeditious, amicable and fair agreement" - Devil Rays owner Vince Naimoli, the same day.

Of course, the Gotham press countered that it's all jibber-jabber and flim-flam. They may have said "pish tosh" as well, but I don't remember.

Suffice to say that these "sources familiar with the process" (all stating unequivocally that Piniella will only sign with the Mets) are all we'll hear of this issue until after the World Series. Commissioner-for-life Bud Selig has banned any major announcements on the basis that they would distract fans from the Fall Classic. Selig makes an excellent point, having himself spent the last couple of years as the acknowledged source of distracting announcements.

He Said It: "How many times do you get to go to the World Series?" - Robert Horry, who attended Game 2 along with Kobe Bryant and several other Lakers. Bryant, by the way, was sporting a Rally Monkey. Even Charlie Sheen wasn't being caught dead with one of those.

Finally, the Japan Series begins this Saturday, with the Yankee-like Central League champion Yomiuri Giants facing the underdog Pacific League winner Seibu Lions. Although the regular season continues this week, each team clinched its respective league weeks ago. I guess that is one argument for the Wild Card.

The Lions are led by Alex Cabrera, who became the second Westerner in two years to tie Sadaharu Oh's Japanese single-season home run record. (Oddly, once a Westerner approaches the record, he's walked more often than Barry Bonds.) The Giants' Hideki "Gojira" Matsui will be showcasing his own home-run stroke as he heads into free agency and possibly joins Ichiro Suzuki and Tsuyoshi "Mr. Merchandising" Shinjo in the States.

Of course, American cable sports networks will continue to ignore the Japan Series, due no doubt to ESPN's commitment to coverage of the major cheerleading competitions and FOX Sports Net's very special episodes of You Gotta See This. We'll be helping you out with basic schedules and results, but for detailed game stories I recommend the online English version of one of Japan's major newspapers, such as the Japan Times or Asahi Shimbun. It's almost like being there, except you can't buy beer from a girl with a keg strapped to her back.

about the author

Michael Cox once tried strapping a keg to his back, but switched to a beer hat after the hernia operation. Shout "Getcher edamame heah! Hey, edamame!" at mc@strikethree.com.