Greasy McNuggets

Matt Bruce

Single-game Giants tickets go on sale this weekend. That's the big baseball news in the Bay Area these days. Or is it?

San Francisco should have a very good team because Barry Bonds is back. Barry Lamar Bonds has hit 567 home runs in his career. Think about it. That's 567 times that the pitcher threw the ball and Bonds hit it so far that he got to walk all the way around the bases. Everybody on base ahead of him also got to walk around the bases. They all scored. Since the team that scores the most points wins, scoring is a very good thing to do on offense.

A home run is the best thing a hitter can possibly achieve in an at-bat because there's nothing the defense can do to prevent the batter from scoring. Every runner scores too. I mean, if you were an outfielder, what could you do? Maybe the person in the stands who caught the ball would give it to you if you asked nicely but under the rules of baseball, that's a dead ball.

Back a hundred years ago, there was no such thing as a home run, at least not the way we know it today. Baseball fields were open pasture. You could hit it far enough to guarantee you'd make it home safely but you still had to run to get there. When Bonds hits a home run, he doesn't have to run. Some old-timers out there will say he should run, but under the rules of baseball, he doesn't have to.

The fact that Bonds walks around the bases so much contributes to the perception that he's lazy. He may or may not actually be lazy, but in today's world, it's the image that matters. Barry Bonds is perceived to be lazy and that perception affects the team's morale. Team chemistry probably costs the Giants about ten games a year.

For someone who hits so many home runs, Bonds could actually hit even more home runs than he has. Why do I say that? Last year he had 73 home runs in 476 at-bats. That's more than a home run every seven at-bats. But that doesn't mean he hit a home run every seven times he came to the plate. There were 188 times last year that Bonds came to the plate but wasn't charged with an at-bat.

If Bonds was ever at the plate when a runner was caught stealing for the third out then that would be more than 188 times. Bonds would still lead off the next inning but being caught stealing with Bonds at bat is a very bad idea. You don't want to be caught stealing when a home run hitter is at the plate because if he hits a home run, it doesn't matter if you were on first base or second base, you'll still score.

The problem, of course, is that of those 200 or so times he wasn't credited with an at-bat, none resulted in home runs. Now, two of those were sacrifice flies. A sacrifice fly is one of baseball's most unselfish plays. You'd think a fly-ball hitter like Bonds would have more than two sacrifice flies, but remember, this is part of why he is perceived to be lazy and selfish. Here, perception is reality.

Bonds was hit by a pitch nine times. That's a lot fewer than thirty years ago. In the 1960s, Bob Gibson would have hit Bonds every time he came to the plate. Gibson would never allow Bonds to hit a home run off of him. It's a different game now. Pitchers are afraid of Bonds, afraid to even pitch to him. His 177 bases on balls proves it. The only way to draw a walk is if the pitcher throws four balls outside of the strike zone.

But every time Bonds draws a walk, he doesn't hit a home run. It takes four pitches outside the strike zone to draw a walk, but what if even one of them was a pitch he could have hit for a home run? Like I said, Bonds is perceived to be lazy and selfish. Nothing he says to the press seems to change that perception.

Steve Carlton had a problem with the media. Before long, Carlton didn't speak to the media at all. You know the saying, "I'd rather keep quiet and be thought a fool than open my mouth and prove it"? People may have thought Carlton was a fool but they could never prove it. Steve Carlton said something very interesting to me once about dealing with the media, but before I get into that, be sure to catch an all-new 24 this Friday, followed by The Bernie Mac Show.

Barry Bonds is not the only player on the Giants. Jeff Kent is one of baseball's most underrated players. He probably gives the team ten extra wins on offense and five more on defense. He's low-key, a very workmanlike player. They call that kind of player a lunch pail player. Do you think anyone in the city of San Francisco literally eats lunch out of a pail? If anyone in baseball does, Kent does. He's that kind of guy.

Rich Aurilia had a great year last year. He hit a lot of home runs but shortstops are known for their defense. Derek Jeter doesn't hit many home runs but he helps the Yankees win games with their defense. He's a very heads-up player. Let's get a reverse angle on that play Jeter just made. Look how far he moves to his right. Nobody in baseball makes that play as well as Jeter does.

Speaking of New York, I can't mention often enough just how fine a human being Joe Torre is. He's an absolute class act. Dusty Baker is also a class act as San Francisco's manager but he just doesn't get the attention that Torre does. If more people appreciated the double-switch, then maybe Baker would get more credit.

The double-switch is an important piece of strategy that you'll see only in the National League. Suppose a manager brings in a reliever but wants him to pitch more than one inning. If the pitcher's spot were coming up, you might think you have to either pinch-hit for him or let him bat for himself. But if you bring in both a pitcher and a position player, you can let the position player hit ninth and the pitcher bat in a spot that won't come up so soon.

The last thing worth mentioning about the Giants is they have baseball's best play-by-play voice. Having a good play-by-play man is essential to maintain view interest in baseball, if he can get a word in edgewise. But what happens if he can't? What would...oh, you're a real man, Deion, a real man. And you're an even bigger man, Mike Krukow, an even bigger man.

With a whole new appreciation for Bill King, Ken Korach, and Ray Fosse, I'll point out that A's tickets go on sale in less than a week.

Looking back on it, Matt Bruce thinks "Kid Fan Bids Hub Adieu" was both finely crafted and oddly prescient. Send literary awards or well-deserved ego deflations to mb@strikethree.com.