Baseballhead:
Snow Day

Michael Cox

Hello, citizen! This is your Baseballhead for the week of...well, this week here. And this week we strongly suggest that laypersons refrain from criticizing the salaries of baseball players when Mariah Carey gets paid $49 million just to go the hell away.

It's been a rare quiet week for baseball, placing the focus on what could be the most unexciting Super Bowl in history -- hell, I've even lost track of what city the Rams play in this year. (Alright, I am a little happy that New Englanders have these few bright days in their Patriots' Elvis-head-logo era.)

Speaking of franchise shell games, yet another court ruled this week that the Twins must honor their Metrodome lease, and Bud Selig has again appealed the decision. Yeah, I'm shocked too.

This time it's the Minnesota Supreme Court who must rule -- if they decide to even take the case. Although the machinery of high-court justice runs at a lower RPM than that of lower courts, Selig has asked the Supreme Court to rule by Feb. 11. Yes, he honestly believes that it's still best for baseball to make the Twins go away, altering schedules and wreaking havoc with thousands of fans who have already purchased tickets, just before Spring Training.

Way to think of the fans, Bud.

The high court has already deferred somewhat to Selig, ordering the operators of the Metrodome to respond by last Thursday, three weeks before the deadline they'd have normally had. We may know by the end of today whether the appeal will be heard, and on what timetable. Expect that if the court doesn't expedite the case, Selig will threaten to stomp and scream until the court either reconsiders or buys him ice cream.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...Ow! Stop Hitting Me!: Here in Seattle, the Mariners reaped some more profit from last year's 116-win season when they doubled their all-time first-day ticket sales record. What concerned local news reporters more, however, was that people waited out in trace amounts of snow to buy tickets, which is just another sign that many in Seattle really ought to look for meaning in their lives. Especially the reporters.

Another Sign of the Impending Apocalypse: The Yankees began putting the finishing touches on their improved 2002 squad by signing corner infielder Ron Coomer to a minor-league deal with a spring training invite, and suggesting that David Cone would be welcome at training camp. Apparently, having improved his team earlier this offseason, Steinbrenner decided he didn't want to make it too unfair on the rest of the American League.

Mind you, I'm one who believes it's far from a lock that the Yanks will do better this year than last (more on that when I begin my predictions, which coincidentally kick off next week). However, one might wonder if the hard work of signing a Jason Giambi might come undone if Steinbrenner gets it into his head to call the Phillies and see if that sweet Jose Mesa fellow isn't available.

Man of His Word: Bud Selig, asked if he'd consider moving a team to Washington, DC, November 2001:

"By shifting teams all you do is relocate the problems."

Bud Selig, asked if he'd consider moving a team to Washington, DC, January 2002:

"I'd have to say that given the demographics of the area, and the number of people who want it, I would say it's the prime candidate."

To be fair, Selig made that second comment in a particular context. Let's look at that context right now:

"I've always said that we need to solve the basic problems, and when we solve the basic problems, we can then turn our attention to relocation."

But wait a minute -- according to Bud, the Expos are going to be "contracted," come hell or high water. And in the other scenario, now that the Marlins owner has the Red Sox, the Expos' owner will take the Marlins, and MLB will hold the Expos for sale to DC.

In the second (and most likely) scenario, nothing will be "solved" before the Expos move to DC after the 2002 season, making Selig nothing more than your basic garden-variety liar.

But in the first scenario, there's no one left to move...or is there?

Knowing as you and I do that Selig believes in his heart that contraction is a necessity, could it be possible that Washington will become the outstretched arms, ready to pluck the Marlins away from Miami if the city doesn't play nice with the team's stadium wishes? Or the truck backed up to the Kauffman Stadium gates, prepared to whisk the Royals off in the dead of night if big improvements aren't subsidized?

I think Selig is a big sentimental softy. He remembers the old days, when all a team had to do was mention Tampa Bay and their state government would hand over a spanky new ballfield. Selig remembers this and sheds a single tear.

Of course, now that the mention of Tampa only provokes raucous laughter, a new "bad guy" is necessary to get those straggling clubs into shiny new stadia. And there are still several teams lined up for a handout: the Cards, Marlins, Royals, even the Dodgers if FOX ever tires of them. Thoughts of moving the A's to Sacramento died with the state capital's stadium project, and the Giants have flatly refused to yield any Silicon Valley real estate to their cross-Bay rivals.

It becomes very simple. Washington is Luigi, ready to kneecap any local legislative body who shirks its "responsibilities." Often simply an unspoken threat, if need be a desperate club could actually sign the deal to sell their club to the DC group, knowing that if the county comes through with those ballpark bonds after the fact, their fellow MLB owners can tidy up the loose ends by invalidating the sale.

Of course, when Washington finally does get a team and you're reminded why two different clubs moved away from there in the past, don't blame Bud. He just works here.

about the author

Michael Cox cites SPF 87 sunblock as the secret behind his creamy complexion. Explain that the rock 'n' roll lifestyle probably helped too at mc@strikethree.com.