Baseballhead:
Anyone for Desert?

Michael Cox

Welcome once again to the Baseballhead labs, where we're still working hard to develop a cure for whatever Tim McCarver's got.

Sunday night marked the end of an era for us here at Strikethree.com -- since our little Internet venture began in 1998, the Yankees have always won the World Series. This actually worked out quite well for me, because I discovered I could "repurpose" the same "reasons the Yankees won" article each year, freeing up more time for heavy drinking.

Then the Diamondbacks had to go and rally in the ninth inning of Game Seven, almost mocking the Yankee comebacks in Games Four and Five. Simply swapping "Bob Brenly" for "Joe Torre" would never work, because then I'd have to replace the adjective "shrewd" with something like "lucky his team didn't mutiny prior to Game Six," and the whole damn house of cards would topple.

With that, let's embark on a quick wrapup of the final couple of games:

- Over the course of this postseason, every Yankee starter except Roger Clemens (and he had his own problems in the Division Series) has been lit up once. It was Andy Pettitte's turn in Game Six, where by the third inning FOX was regretting not including a mercy rule in their new contract so that they could have filled time with a bonus episode of Bernie Mac.

- Brenly's much-talked-about pitching bungles virtually ensured there would be (at the very best) a Game Seven. To wit, he left Byung-Hyun Kim in an inning too long in Game 4 instead of using Randy Johnson for an inning. He then went with Kim again in Game 5, almost singlehandedly ruining the young closer's psyche in the process.

- Of course, by Game Seven Brenly had lost all faith in Kim, although that was no fault of Kim's in the first place, and opted to bring in Johnson in the top of the ninth. This particular decision was made tougher than it might seem by the fact that the night before Brenly allowed Johnson to pitch seven innings despite a 13-run lead. But hell, Johnson could probably have thrown with his right hand and been more effective than most of the D-Back bullpen.

- And another related thought: If you've ever had a friend appear on a quiz show like Jeopardy, they'll always tell you that the reason they looked like a deer caught in headlights and couldn't even answer "'C' Words" for $50 is that it's all different with the pressure and cameras. Do you think that might have been Brenly's problem? ("I can't be expected to manage properly with all these microphones and crap in my dugout!")

- There's apparently a new movie opening soon, combining the best of extreme winter sports with Meatballs 4. Unfortunately I didn't catch the title, because the commercial was so long that it afforded an excellent opportunity to prepare a tasty snack.

- It is my considered opinion, after watching the ninth inning of Game Seven, that Arizona did not so much win the game as the Yankees blew it. Some defensive lapses, including a Jay Bell bunt that should have resulted in a double play and Torre's decision to pull the infield in, didn't exactly help Mariano Rivera in his save attempt. As much as it has been said that the Yankees "know how to win," I've seen enough inexplicable flashes of ineptitude this week that I would certainly never say that. That is, if I would have in the first place. Or something.

Details aside, This was one of the most exciting World Series of this generation, with four one-run games and three games decided in the final at-bat. After last year's overhyped Subway Series, it took the team from the desert to capture TV viewers' imagination again, with the series' highest Nielsen ratings coming after the D-Backs took the driver's seat. In fact, the highest-rated hour of Game Six came after Arizona had all but run away with the game, almost as if America was taking some sort of sick pleasure at watching the Yankees take a pasting.

Not that our dear Commissioner Bud Selig was helping matters, though. At a time when any other leader of any other sports organization would be focusing on the big championship series, Selig was telling everyone within earshot that MLB is suffering, and the only solution is to amputate. He even expressed concern that people weren't discussing "contraction" as much as he felt they should. I'm surprised he didn't mention it during the Championship Trophy award ceremony.

Instead, on Sunday night our Bud simply opted for looking bleak and moody. Another disadvantage of the current commissioner: an amazing ability to suck all charisma out of a room. Honestly, for the greater good of baseball you should be writing your congressperson right now, begging them to replace Selig with some crotchety ex-Supreme Court justice. Hell, even Scalia would do.

In the end, the Diamondbacks rode two factors to victory: two of the game's best pitchers, and hot bats at just the right time. If there's one Arizona trademark, it's the occasional hitting dry spell that makes the Orioles look like an offensive powerhouse. They not only managed to avoid such a spell in the World Series, they made guys like Tony Womack look like they were worth every dollar.

And maybe this year they were.

Congratulations to the Diamondbacks and their fans. Don't forget, we won't be wintering in Boca this year, so we'll bring you all the trade scuttlebutt, all the crazed schemes that come out of Selig's butt, and much more, even after Luis Gonzalez crushes out his last cigar butt.

And in preparation for next season, our first words of advice for players everywhere: Don't pick your nose while you're sitting on the bench, because people with big-screen TVs will get nauseous.

about the author

Michael Cox would like to remind the Yankees that they're still the American League champions. Let him know that sounds about as satisfying as winning an Emmy for "outstanding technical achievement" at mc@strikethree.com.