Baseballhead:
Western Where

Michael Cox

This is it, folks -- Opening Day is upon us. Well, it's not upon Ken Griffey or Greg Maddux, but the sentiment remains. The man who was recently elected President will throw out the first pitch, and George W. will do it as well. Miller Park will have underordered some concession items and overestimated even Milwaukee residents' hunger for the $8.50 Deluxe Ultra Brat Dog.

The Associated Press has already made its traditional first pitch, running the headline, "Baseball fans had better go to the cash machine before they sing 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game' this spring," to introduce their yearly story on ticket price increases. Funny, we don't see headlines when Magic Mountain's price goes up, or when America's bowling alleys increase their shoe rental fees, but pro sports rate their own "watchdog" group.

If only I had confidence in the Team Marketing Report's findings -- despite the fact that the Mariners raised or held firm on every one of their individual-game ticket prices, TMR says average prices in Seattle declined this year. Expect even the Seattle media to report TMR's findings as fact. The fun will really start when they publish their media-hype-friendly "fan cost index," which presumes a family will buy two caps and two programs each time it attends a game.

So the average ticket price in MLB may or may not be $18.99. Only "average" fans should be paying "average" ticket prices, and since as a Strikethree.com reader you're much smarter than the "average" fan, you should be able to attend a game for much, much less, right? 'Nuff said.

Finishing off the Baseballhead Big Batch O' Predictions, we turn our attention to the American League West. A highly competitive division since realignment in '94, half its teams went to the postseason in 2000 (let's see the NL Central do that). The Athletics finally fulfilled statheads' past several years' predictions and finished first by default when the Mariners couldn't get their full 162 played by the last day of the season. The M's turned that disappointment around, though, by making it to the ALCS. The Angels and Rangers played many regular-season games, winning a few.

In case you were on Neptune this winter, there have been a couple of changes in the West this year. Alex Rodriguez now plays for Texas, Japan's greatest player of the past decade, Ichiro Suzuki, plays in Seattle, the A's swapped Ben Grieve for Johnny Damon, and Gary DiSarcina has not yet been hit with a fungo bat. Who made the wise moves?

4. Anaheim Angels.

Not the Angels, that's for sure. Disney is currently planning to lay off about 4,000 employees, and unfortunately for the good people of Anaheim none of them will be the Angels' on-field personnel. (I hear they're looking into pink-slipping a few Mighty Ducks, though.)

It's a telling statement that the best thing to happen to the Halos all offseason was when Tim Belcher retired. To show just how out-of-touch the Anaheim front office is, the team re-signed DiSarcina, despite his lack of actual baseball talent, ostensibly for his "clubhouse leadership." Tell me, where exactly has the Angel clubhouse been led, besides to Hell in a handbasket?

Jose Canseco couldn't even catch on long enough to come up and experience the Rally Monkey (a mascot which is my pick for worst team curse since the M's old upside-down trident logo). The perpetually injured Mo Vaughn is again recuperating, leaving Scott Spezio about as capable of picking up his slack as Mickey was in trying to learn the Sorcerer's spells. On the other hand, they've still got a decent outfield and Troy Glaus could be a reason to head out to Overpriced Electricity Field.

3. Texas Rangers.

Good news: this offseason, the Rangers picked up one of the best offensive players in the game today.

Bad news: the Rangers' real need was pitching.

Of anyone, Alex Rodriguez should realize that even great offense can be totally nullified by crappy pitching. His Mariners pushed more runs across the plate than even the Martian Manglers of the Interplanetary League during the late '90s, but parlayed all that offense into only one 90-win season, and watched big leads go into the toilet on a regular basis (that turn of phrase sponsored by Metamucil).

It is likely that Tom Hicks' hot pursuit of A-Rod cost the Rangers two good pitchers, including possibly Mike Hampton, who might have helped the team win more than even the game's greatest shortstop will. The team also seemed to try and balance the Rodriguez signing by inking the declining Andres Galarraga and the declining and injury-prone Ken Caminiti.

In the end, there were a lot of fireworks, sound and fury around the A-Rod signing, but when the smoke cleared he was just one player. The Mariners had a better team around him last year and still finished second. Heck, the M's had a better team around him in '98, the year A-Rod went 40-40, and lost the division to the Rangers.

2. Seattle Mariners.

There was no way the M's could possibly replace Rodriguez and they knew it, putting all their faith in the fact that he said he wanted to come back, to the point where they didn't bother even looking at other free agents until it was too late. If the season goes south for Seattle, it should be their lack of action rather than A-Rod's dis that is remembered.

On the other hand, the Ichiro Suzuki deal was smart both financially (even including the "posting fee," he isn't costing them a lot more than Jeffrey "Ick" Hammonds is costing Bud Selig, while bringing in many more fan dollars) and baseball-wise (Jay Buhner's bruised foot notwithstanding, anything that deprives Al Martin of playing time is fine in my book). Unfortunately, that's the only real improvement the club made this year.

Fortunately, the M's are pitching-rich this season, the antithesis of Texas, which will help take peoples' minds off the fact that yes, it really is Bret Boone playing second base. In fact, the only infield position that is likely to produce is first base (John Olerud, natch), while the team will have to find better and better excuses for allowing Dan Wilson to start ("Er, he's a real good cook! And he rescues stray cats!").

1. Oakland Athletics.

"Okay," you're saying, "the jig is up. You're picking the A's to finish first because you know you've never picked the AL West correctly and you're hoping it jinxes them." Poppycock and balderdash. I'd make raspberry-type noises too, but you wouldn't be able to hear them.

Anyway, the A's didn't shake up their 2000 club, and with a young team that's a good thing. In fact, the moves they did make were to jettison older players who were either likely to decline (Randy Velarde, Matt Stairs) or already in free-fall (Kevin Appier). Of course, because the A's finished first last year, bringing up more youngsters in their place instead of hiring free agents is a wise move. If they had been the Twins, that'd be a whole different ball of string.

The Grieve-for-Damon three-way deal really works out to be a wash for the A's -- they're likely to get a slightly better year from Damon than they would from Grieve. Something tells me that the A's may not be the only team Damon plays for in 2001, though, and in that curious GM logic, Oakland might get more in return for Damon than they would have had they traded Grieve straight across. I hear Jim Bowden's ready to deal again...

The only real potential stumbling block for the A's is the curious way young teams can slump together (see: Anaheim, 1995), although that is by no means the rule. Our suggestion to Tom Hicks: next time, spend all that money on attractive young women and put them in the front row at Oakland's Network Associates Coliseum. You know how easily distracted those kids are.

Have fun on opening day, and don't blow the mortgage money on beer.

about the author

Michael Cox hwill not take responsibility for anyone burning themselves while setting fire to a Rally Monkey. Nevertheless, send photos to him at mc@strikethree.com.