Baseballhead:
Central Bark

Michael Cox

Aloha, folks! It's yet another edition of Baseballhead, where we're happy for Sammy Sosa, who signed an up-to-four-year, $72M contract extension today. Sammy is for the most part the anti-Carl Everett, although Sosa's best years are likely behind him. The turning point in the negotiations? Not the media's myth of impending free agency as distraction (history shows that by and large it actually results in better performance), but the fact that Mark "Hulk" McGwire signed a similar deal to stay on in St. Louis.

Unfortunately, knowing how the Tribune Co. handles its finances, Sosa's deal likely consumes the Cubs' entire pitching budget through 2005.

Any-hoo, it's time for Part Four of Six (you will be assimilated) of the Baseballhead Preseason Picks Potpourri, where today we cover the AL Central, where the resemblance to their NL counterpart is astonishing: Two good teams and a raft of also-rans. Also like their Earth-2 compatriots, even the worst teams here ought to win more games, if only because the new unbalanced schedule means they get to play other bad AL Central teams much more often.

Last year the White Sox not only upset the Indians, but became stathead darlings by using young players in pivotal roles. The Tribe finally discovered that you can't neglect your pitching staff forever. The Tigers moved to the pitcher-friendly Comerica Park, and discovered that Juan Gonzalez is capable of swearing in public. The Royals had one good month, then went back to being the Royals, and the Twins...maybe we should stop there.

How are things going to shake out in 2001? Why, I thought you'd never ask.

5. Minnesota Twins

Picking the Twins to scrape the bottom of the AL barrel is much like taking an AK-47 to a large halibut residing in the same container. It's almost too easy -- and oh, the embarrassment if they actually finish higher than last!

The Twins' front office and manager Tom "Gimme a Veteran Every Time" Kelly have made it easy to dis their team's chances, with moves like signing Butch Huskey and benching Todd Walker. What possible reason is there to sit on a young player when your team will go to Hell in a handbasket either way? On the positive side, Brad Radke re-signed, so there's at least one man in Minneapolis who's crazier than the Twins' front office.

Because the Twins are primarily a young team, they're well nigh capable of putting together the kind of month the Royals did last April, then swooning as soon as Peter Gammons declares they're "for real."

4. Kansas City Royals

The upside of the 2000 season was that the Royals' hitters, er, stepped up to the plate. That is, except for Carlos "I Don't Need No Stinking Rehab" Beltran, who went from Rookie of the Year to Player Who Sucks faster than you could say "Bob Hamelin." The downside in 2000 was that the entire pitching staff might as well have been Bob Hamelin. Yes, I know he isn't a pitcher.

So, what did the Crowns do to improve themselves in 2001? They were the only team in the Johnny Damon/Ben Grieve three-way deal to end up with neither Johnny Damon nor Ben Grieve. Instead, they decided that instead of a complete overhaul of their rotation, all they needed was closer Roberto Hernandez. Look forward to seeing Roberto look on from the bullpen as his team loses leads in the 7th and 8th.

To pick up the slack from the loss of Damon, K.C. is hoping that Beltran can't possibly get any worse than he was last year. A reasonable bet, although never a sure one, especially considering the depths Beltran hit last year. However, your team can hit like the '27 Yankees, but when Mac Suzuki is your ace you're likely not going to win much besides bets on the dot races.

3. Detroit Tigers

Like the Astros, the Tigers spent the entirety of their 2000 season figuring out just how they've messed up their team by playing in their new ballpark. Unlike the 'Stros, however, the Tigers should have known that any team with Juan Gonzalez had better play in a hitter's park or prepare to hear about it. Preaching plate patience to Gonzo works about as well as convincing Ted Nugent to join PETA.

This season Juan is Cleveland's problem, and that's perhaps the best possible outcome for the Tigers. They can now concentrate on getting on base and contact hitting, and getting the better part of the Brad Ausmus/Mitch Meluskey trade with Houston should help. Imagine if they still had Gabe Kepler instead of pretending they were contenders and acquiring Gonzalez...

Pitching-wise, Les Tigres were decent if unspectacular, and in the roomy Comerica that may be all that's necessary. If they can convince Dave Mlicki to retire, they'll be even better off. All in all, on a scale of one to ten I'd rate the Tigers an ehhhhh.

2. Cleveland Indians

At the Jake they seem to have caught Peter Angelos Disease: hire the names to keep the fans coming, and maybe they won't worry that their team is past its prime and not winning. Signing Gonzalez simply adds to the team's aging core -- mind you, one who put up great offensive numbers, but aging nonetheless -- and adds more risk. The upside if Gonzo can bounce back is good, but not good enough to make up for losing both Manny Ramirez and David Justice.

Pitching-wise the Tribe continues to flounder, but got extremely lucky when Chuck Finley managed to catch fire. Was it a rebound, or an Orel Hershiser-type flash of his former brilliance before he heads to the Old Starters' Home? I'd bet on the latter. More misery could strike when either a player Jaret Wright hits with a pitch decides to take out his kneecaps, or cranky old geezer Frank "Nobody Hit Anybody in My Day" Robinson decides to suspend him for life.

Prediction: decline for Cleveland, in hitting, pitching, and (gasp) attendance. Prediction for the next few years: Your lineup is getting old and your fans won't stand for rebuilding -- what do you do? What do you do?

1. Chicago White Sox

Bud Selig's recent decision that the Blue Jays knew they were buying potentially damaged goods was a boost for the Sox, who improved their team simply by replacing Mike Sirotka with someone who's not injured. More fortunately, that replacement was David Wells, who as we speak is making perpetual reservations at Harry Caray's.

Yes, the White Sox are being picked by sabermetricians everywhere as Oakland's opponents in the 2001 ALCS. Unfortunately, the statement "that's why you play the games" never rings so true as with young clubs, who seem to undergo sudden team swoons as quickly as they peak. But after last year, there are actually people who have used the words "Reinsdorf" and "genius" in the same sentence.

However, things aren't starting off too rosy in SockLand, with Frank Thomas pouting about his salary and boycotting six days of spring training. It's awfully interesting that several years ago the sports media were running articles on Thomas' well-oiled business machine, but now it seems he didn't even read (or understand) his contract? Let me tell you, if I'm signing any agreement with Jerry Reinsdorf, you bet I'm going to look over the details.

The real downside to this is that when Thomas is unhappy, it shows up in his performance, and that doesn't bode well. However, one man does not a team make, and the young (or at least young-ish) core of the Sox should be able to cope. Having the solid Wells in the rotation can't hurt, and sausage-cart operators all over Chicagoland are profusely thanking GM Ron Schueler.

about the author

Michael Cox is now hiding out from Wells, fearing the same retribution he threatened against Sports Illustrated last year. As prime hideout space is hard to find, Michael had to take a roommate. Help convince Salman Rushdie to try a new cologne at mc@strikethree.com.