Baseballhead:
Headlines, Interrupted

Michael Cox

We may not be ancient, but we're certainly justified, so we're once again all bound for Baseballhead, er, land. This week begins with an admonition for anyone who wants to call himself a "sportswriter": For the love of God, don't declare that a good player has no value going into his free agent year.

In an article titled "Cubs should trade Sosa while he still has value," Bob "Big Unit to LA - It's a Lock" Nightengale declares that because Sammy Sosa could reject a 2002 option, Sosa is as worthless to Chicago as Jenny Craig after this coming opening day. Of course, that's what we in the media criticism business call "a pile of crap."

First, there's no arbitrary Opening Day trade deadline. Should the Cubs find a taker who can sign Sammy long-term at any point in the season, be it February, May or July, they should still receive a reasonable exchange. Of course, that exchange will be much less than anyone thinks the Cubs can get for Sosa, unless Lee McPhail suddenly develops bargaining skills (or were those trades with the Giants a fiendishly clever ruse?).

Plus, it's conceivable that Sosa could give the go-ahead to the mutual option for 2002, and here's some insider info: he doesn't have to wait for 2002 to do it. 'Nuff said, a nod's as good as a wink, and Bob's your uncle, eh?

Finally, Sosa is likely to do for the Cubs what he's been doing for them since '99 - bring in money, especially on the road. If he had no value, why did the Cubs keep him throughout 2000, when they could have bartered for even more meats and cheeses than they can hope to get now? Because Sosa's stay in the Friendly Confines has been a mutually beneficial transaction.

Moving on, let's look at the top headlines of the past week. Not the actual stories, just the headlines. C'mon, it'll be fun!

McGwire Expects to be Healthy for Opening Day 

"Damn, those new steroids are good."

Angels Turn Down Stadium Lights 

Good thing the Angels haven't actually been playing this winter. That would have made shagging fly balls an interesting experience. On the other hand, bring in some night-vision cameras and shagging fly balls might be more interesting than the Angels' team this year.

Fan Sues Marlins, Says Flying T-shirt Injured Him

That's just incredible. The Marlins still have a fan? I do recall a lot of "please don't hurt us" signs in the stands when the Dodgers came to town last year.

Mets Raise Top Ticket Price

This is news? What's next: "Steve Phillips Ingests Food on Daily Basis, Sources Say"? 

Win a Years Supply of Durex Condoms

Oops -- that was the headline of a recent e-mail message. Sorry.

Rolen and Phillies Begin Contract Talks 

ED WADE: So, Scott, what's it going to take for you to stay here in Philadelphia?

ROLEN: $10 million and you promise not to re-sign Jose Mesa.

WADE: I'm not sure we can do that...

ROLEN: Okay, okay, that might have been a tad frivolous. $8 million and you take Mesa and Brian Hunter to a rest area near Hershey.

WADE: D'oh.

Reds, Deion Sanders Agree to Minor-league Contract

SANDERS: Hey Jim -- I understand your team has an unlimited capacity for humiliation. Count me in.

BOWDEN: D'oh.

Vitiello Sold to Orix Blue Wave

America gets Ichiro Suzuki, and we return the favor with Joe Vitiello? Don't expect the Prime Minister to be on terribly good speaking terms with Dubya for a while.

about the author

Michael Cox would like to make it clear: he owns no Hello Kitty merchandise. And if you're one of Bob Nightengale's "sources" for that story, give him a jingle at mc@strikethree.com.