Horse Beats Pig

Matt Bruce

Did you see the A's beat the Padres last Sunday? It was 2-0 Oakland until the eighth inning, when both bullpens basically collapsed and the A's held on for a 9-6 victory. Or maybe they blacked out that game in your area. Did anyone notice that the Marlins induced six errors in a combined shutout over Seattle?

Wait, somebody just passed me a note. What's this? Pigskin? Touchdowns? Oh. That explains everything. No wonder Jason Giambi seemed to have so much padding at the plate. No wonder Tim McCarver suddenly had a Southern accent and a bizarre Elvis fetish. Duce Staley, Rob Ducey, it's all the same to me so long as the Cowboys and Yankees both get humiliated on national TV.

Every September there comes a Sunday when the rest of the country seems to forget that there are still pennant races going on. Bay Area sports fans suddenly worry more about Ashley Ambrose than about Billy Ashley. In the Dallas Morning News, the Rangers Beat ends up somewhere next to the fly-fishing column.

If you got caught up in the madness last week, this column is for you. First some useless tidbits: It was the Raiders who beat the Chargers, 9-6. Up to that point, the A's had scored more than nine runs 19 times this year and allowed more than six runs 42 times. Thanks to the Raiders' attendance problems, we were spared that dreck in the Bay Area. Instead we saw the Seahawks do what the Mariners have accomplished just five times this year: fail to score.

Ah, but there was no shortage of offense in either Cleveland or Chicago. At the Jake, young first baseman Chris Richard hit two homers and drove in six as the Orioles overcame deficits of 1-0, 5-2, and 11-7 to...lose, 12-11, in 13 innings. Jim Thome had five RBI for the Tribe, while Kenny Lofton captured the headlines with five steals and four runs, including a sayonara homer.

Meanwhile at Comiskey, what do you do if you're a young stud pitcher inheriting a 4-0 lead in the bottom of the first? Maybe you get a bit aggressive, but if you still have a 4-3 lead with two out and the bases empty, everything is hunky dory, right? Not for Ramon Ortiz, who gave up a double, single, double, single, double, walk, and double to the next seven batters to hit the showers early.

Remarkably, the Angels rallied. Tim Salmon's three-run homer gave Anaheim a 10-9 lead in the top of the sixth. Troy Glaus went deep two batters later and Darin Erstad added his second homer of the game in the seventh.

That's when the White Sox struck back. Journeyman Herbert Perry, who started Chicago's two-out rally back in the first, tripled home the tying run in the bottom of the eighth and raced home on Paul Konerko's sacrifice fly to make it 13-12. Keith Foulke finished a perfect ninth by fanning Erstad to ensure that at least one of the Windy City's teams would get a Sunday victory.

Over on the Senior Circuit, Jim Edmonds came up in the bottom of the 11th inning and hit a game-ending home run for the second time in three days. In what started as a battle of first-place teams, Cardinals swept the Mets, winning in their last at-bat each time. Kurt Warner may still be the darling of St. Louis, but since he and his defending champion teammates had to wait a day to start their season, the local baseball team made the most of its continued limelight.

The Indians and Cardinals were not the only teams to win Sunday marathons. The lowly Pittsburgh Pirates, who had taken the Padres to 10 innings Friday night, completed the sweep with a 13-inning victory. Fans of the truly arcane (inane?) will note that the Pirates earlier this season lost nine consecutive Sunday games. At least they've only endured one Sunday shutout, exactly as many as the equally lowly Steelers.

There's a fine line between especially bad pro teams and college teams. There are especially fine lines between both those types and the Chicago Cubs. Last Saturday, while co-eds around the nation got into their best school spirit, Don Baylor's squad went on national TV and showed off their best Little League moves in a 13-2 loss at San Francisco.

Five times that game, a Giant drew a bases-loaded walk. Jeff Kent did the honors twice and Ellis Burks (whose 1-1-0-3 box score line will not soon be duplicated) accounted for the rest. Cub pitchers gave up 11 walks in all, as well as 10 hits. Chicago pitching coach Oscar Acosta came out to visit starter Ruben Quevedo, and was thrown out for arguing balls and strikes. Baylor came out to defend Acosta, and was charged with a visit to the mound himself, forcing Quevedo to leave.

Through all that, San Francisco kept up a winning streak that by Sunday afternoon would give it the best record in the National League. It helps that the Braves and Mets were both choking over that span. American League West scoreboard watchers, all too familiar with mutual choking, got some good news on the pitching front: Gil Heredia and Tim Hudson pitched back-to-back gems for Oakland, while Seattle's Paul Abbott took a no-hitter into the ninth inning at Fenway Park.

The Red Sox helpfully started the latter game at 5 pm Eastern Time, apparently to accommodate fans of the Patriots. But if you cared more about football's opening weekend than about baseball's home stretch, shame on you. Shame on the Boston-area fans (there actually were a few) who last October cared more about Adam Vinitieri hitting the post in Kansas City than about the Red Sox putting up 23 runs to send the Division Series back to Cleveland.

Luckily, you still have time to change your ways. If you're reading this piece the weekend it comes out, can catch either of two divisional showdowns. The Yankees and White Sox will try to cement their leads while the Red Sox and Indians try to beat their enemies at home and gain wild card supremacy. Five other playoff contenders -- the A's, Mariners, Braves, Mets and Giants -- all play host to patsies and jockey for favorable postseason pairings.

This weekend is actually the pinnacle of New York-Boston rivalry, since the Jets and Patriots face off Monday night. (Will the "Tuna Bowl" moniker outlast the influence of Bill Parcells on either team?) If you're in Boston, though, note that Nomar's team has far more at stake than Drew Bledsoe's. If you're in the Bay Area, count down your baseball teams' magic numbers before worrying about how a pair of lousy football squads match up against the Panthers and Colts.

Stick with the last vestiges of summer until a true champion unseats the Yankees. There will be plenty of time for a second-rate war game when the weather brings cold and rain.

about the author

Matt Bruce is apparently unafraid of C-cells. Offer your creative football/Yankee heckling, such as "F*** you, Bruce! Hey, you f***! F*** you!" at mb@strikethree.com.