Hodgepodge for All!

Jason Michael Barker

Today's column is going to be a fast-paced, hard-hitting, never-say-die look around all things MLB, so fasten your seatbelts, batten down the hatches, and save the women and children.

Now that I've met (if not exceeded) my daily quota of cliches, let's move on to bigger and better things (whoops, there goes another one).

Up first is Carl Everett, everybody's favorite hotheaded centerfielder. Major League Baseball finally announced Everett's suspension and fine Thursday, stemming from his, er, altercation with umpire Ronald Kulpa this weekend. Everett was hit with a ten-game suspension for the incident, while the amount of the fine was undisclosed. As you might expect, the Players' Association immediately appealed.

Without getting into the specifics of the incident itself, I'll first say that I think that ten games is an appropriate number. The problem, of course, is that it's going to be reduced after the appeal hearing. Frank Robinson knows this, so perhaps what he really wanted was a seven- or eight-game suspension in the first place.

Had it been up to me, and I wanted the ten-game suspension, I would have slapped Everett with a 15-game penalty figuring it would get cut down to 10 or 12 upon appeal.

The most amusing part of today's announcement is that Everett blames the media for the severity of the suspension, saying that he was made out to be a "monster," and that he "didn't do the things people said I did."

Uh, Carl? The videotape is there for everyone to see. You did indeed do the things on it, and you certainly appeared to me, at least momentarily, to be a monster.

That's not to say that he didn't have some right to be upset. As others have pointed out, Everett was called on something (standing out of the batter's box) he's been doing all season, and probably for the majority of his career. This doesn't condone breaking the rules, of course, but the precedent that this rule isn't going to be enforced has been set.

Still, Everett had to know, almost as soon as he lost it, that he had gone over the line. And at the same time, his teammates and coaches waited a bit too long to come out and restrain him,

I expect we'll all hear more than enough about Carl Everett over the coming weeks (like that relief pitcher from Atlanta), so I'll leave it at that for now.

Moving on...

With Barry Larkin and his agent demanding a three-year contract extension worth close to $27M and the Reds saying they won't meet those demands, word out of Cincinnati has the National League's best shortstop since Ozzie Smith on the trading block. Of course, other rumors earlier in the week said Ken Griffey Jr. was being shopped around the American League, so take this for what it's worth.

If Larkin really is up for grabs (and this sort of thing seems to happen every time his contract comes up for renewal), the Reds should have no shortage of suitors. With Rey Ordonez out for the remainder of the season but in the middle of a long-term contract, the Mets would love to have Larkin to finish out the year in a "rent-a-player" deal.

Likewise, Larkin is better than anything the Braves have going at short this season, and adding him would allow Rafael Furcal to play second (Quilvio Veras being done for the year) full-time. That's some middle infield -- the 36-year old Larkin and the 19-year old Furcal, both fabulous players, one and the end of his career and the other with a long career ahead of him.

A similar story can be told about the Dodgers, though Larkin's services wouldn't be enough to lead them to victory over both the Diamondbacks and Giants. Toronto would be another good fit. A team like the Mariners could use Larkin at either second or third, provided he's willing to make the switch.

All that said, I don't think he's going to be traded. All parties involved want to see Larkin remain in Cincy, and as I said earlier, this sort of thing seems to happen whenever Larkin is up for renewal, but somehow the two sides get together and make sure he stays in town. Throw in that Larkin has 10-and-5 rights (remember Griffey?) and the power to veto any trade, and a deal seems unlikely.

Finally, I got a few email messages from, presumably, Cleveland fans upset that I said the White Sox would hold on to win the AL Central. Nothing against the Indians, but this one boils down to simple math.

Heading into play Thursday, the White Sox were an MLB-best 60-34, while the Tribe stood 49-45. Let's suppose the Sox cool off a bit the rest of the way, playing .500 ball to close the season. With 68 games left to play, that would leave them with a 94-68 final record. The Indians, just to tie them, would have to go 45-23 over their final 68 games (a .662 winning percentage).

Now, certainly clubs have played that well over a similar stretch of games before, but what honestly leads you to believe that the Indians are capable of doing such a thing? Sure, they could trade for Mike Mussina and Curt Schilling to solidify their starting rotation. But they could just as easily trade Manny Ramirez, Travis Fryman and Kenny Lofton for prospects, as they already did with Dave Justice.

Jason Michael Barker has never been involved in a head-butting incident, but here at Strikethree.com we like to remind him occasionally of the infamous coffee cup bumping incident. Why don't you ask him about it at jmb@strikethree.com.