Sound Affects

Matt Bruce

Twice in the last year or so I have moved from one place to another. Pack up the valuables, haul everything over, unpack everything, and learn to call the new place home. One might say that the Strikethree family has just done the online equivalent of this. While certain choices of interior decoration may take quite some time for me to accept, we're still the same authors with the same quirks, and way too much junk to fit on one shelf.

One of the first things that amateur movers usually do is unpack the boom box and bust out the tunes. Three weeks ago I wrote about Barry Bonds, Dr. Dre, and the regular playlist at major league parks. I encouraged knowledgeable fans to respond, and write back you did. No sooner did this column come out than did my full-time employers remind me of why they pay me. Several 16-hour workdays later, however, I'm back with some choice results.

First off, one DJ Harman points out that, contrary to my impression, the Texas Rangers actually do give their players theme songs. Pudge Rodriguez gets Ricky Martin's "Shake Your Bon-Bon." Royce Clayton steps in to the beat of "some weird electric organ song" -- when I think of electric organs, I think of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," though Iron Butterfly does not quite match Clayton's reputation for listening to sexually explicit rap.

Harman suggests a few themes that players should use, such as "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" for John Rocker and "Oops! I Did It Again" for Chuck Knoblauch. Along those lines, Tad Trammell suggests Def Leppard's "Rock of Ages" for Jose Mesa ("gonna start a fire") and "I'm Still Alive" for Jesse Orosco "or anyone in Tony LaRussa's bullpen."

Trammell and Harman both mention the "Imperial Death March," played for Juan Gonzalez when he was in Arlington but also used in Seattle for Jay Buhner's late-game at-bats. The Buhner connection kind of ruins the Evil Empire joke, but I can still picture JuanDo in a dark, deserted sandlot somewhere: "Luke, I am your father, and boy was my fourth wife mad when she found out!"

Tony Pellegrino gives me the scoop on St. Louis. Both Shawon Dunston and Eli Marrero get DMX tracks, while Eric Davis uses "Forget About Dre." Mark McGwire steps to the plate the same way that the Yankees take the field, with "Welcome to the Jungle" as backdrop. I've always wanted to sneak into Yankee Stadium and fiddle with the CDs so that fans in the Bronx hear "Sweet Child Of Mine" instead.

Getting back to the Cardinals, Pellegrino mentions that Rick Ankiel likes "Last Resort" by Papa Roach. One point on which I am unclear: Is this when he bats? When he's warming up? Harman reminds me that the Rangers played "Money" while Kevin Brown was warming up, the time rookie Ryan Glynn beat him 2-0.

Onetime Seattle resident Phil Gaskill hopes to bring back some memories with the name Julio Cruz and the theme song "America" from West Side Story. Having never been to Seattle, I have to take his word on this, but I do have my own favorite Mariner music memory.

At the height of the 1996 Seattle-Texas pennant race, the Red Sox, Yankees, and Orioles made a West Coast trip. Since this was before webcasts, I had to settle for games I got on the radio, though I could get both WABC and WBAL from my Boston apartment if the weather was just right. Multiple times in the late innings, Junior would step up with two men on base and the Mariners down by a run. The Kingdome rally music, "Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project, would invariably segue into the Macarena as the Yanks or O's brought in a lefty specialist. To this day I associate those two songs in my mind.

Speaking of the Orioles, longtime fan and Maryland quiz-bowl legend Brick Barrientos notes that Albert Belle's theme is "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin. The music accompanies a film with Belle on blue screen in front of the fires of hell. According to Barrientos, "this must mean he divides clubhouses to the brink of nuclear war the way Kashmir causes tension for Pakistan and India."

Barrientos has a paragraph of DiamondVision dandies that I might put up on our new message board this weekend, though suffice it to say the Memorial Stadium PA system never did use Elton John's "White Powder, White Lady" for Alan Wiggins.

Finally, we have a Yankee fan in our midst, season-ticket holder Heather Fennell. She mentions that the Yankee groundskeepers always use "YMCA" when they clean the infield in the fifth inning. Apparently they're so good at the schtick that I've actually heard Connecticut yuppie kids in the rows behind me at Fenway Park, complaining that the Red Sox grounds crew didn't have the same act.

Fennell cites "California Love" by 2Pac as Derek Jeter's former theme music and mentions that Mariano Rivera still takes the field to Metallica's "Enter Sandman." By far her most intriguing revelation is the Paul O'Neill theme music. If it's the song I think she's referring to, that would be none other than "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum. Whether O'Neill gets to "go to the place that's the best" after so much whining is an open question.

Well, my lunch hour is almost over. I do thank everyone who wrote in with information and suggestions. If you have information about theme music, or suggested theme music, I would love to hear about it. Better yet, next time your local team is in a rain delay, if the TV or radio guys take phone calls, dial in and get them onto the subject. But don't put that lamp there, or I'll trip over it on my way to bed. HEY -- NO BEER UNTIL WE GET THOSE COACHES UPSTAIRS! Good grief -- well, home sweet home, as they say.

Matt Bruce rode the 7 train all day Thursday hoping to get an exclusive with John Rocker, but all he got was mugged. Wish him better luck talking to Albert Belle in the Camden Yards parking lot at mb@strikethree.com.

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