Tales of the Weird

Jason Michael Barker

It's often said that every time you watch a baseball game, you can see something you've never seen before. I've always believed it but never thought much of it, as I assumed these were subtle little things, easy to miss unless you're really paying attention.

Last week one of these situations came up at Safeco Field, and unless you were asleep in your seat it would have been difficult to miss. The Rockies were in town taking on the hometown Mariners, and Todd Helton led off the top of the sixth against reliever Robert Ramsay. Helton ripped a ball down the right field line into the corner and off the wall, while M's right fielder Jay Buhner gave chase.

Buhner fielded the ball casually thinking Helton would be content with the long single, but as he turned to throw, there was Helton steaming around first base. Those of you familiar with Buhner know his range in the field has decreased dramatically over the past couple of years, but that he still has a cannon of an arm. You see where this is going -- Buhner reared back and threw a bullet to second to nail the sliding Helton.

Buhner got a fine ovation from the crowd, but there wasn't much time to soak it in as Jeffrey Hammonds ripped Ramsay's next pitch down the left field line toward Stan Javier. In one of those plays that appears to develop in slow motion, Javier fielded the ball, Hammonds rounded the bag, and the throw beat the runner by inches.

Outfield assists aren't as rare as perfect games or hitting for the cycle, of course, but they aren't as common as walks or hits either. I think I've gone an entire season and only seen one or two such plays in person, and here were back-to-back outfield assists, both involving batters hitting the ball into the corner and trying to stretch a single into a double.

My next thought was, "Has a team ever had three outfield assists in one inning?" At first it seems improbable, but baseball has been around for a long time. Still, I have this image of a dusty old record book sitting on a shelf somewhere, and next to "Outfield Assists, Inning, Team" the entry says "Many tied with 2."

Last Tuesday, exactly one week after Buhner and Javier's armed heroics, the Mariners were at it again, showing me something I've never seen in my years as a baseball fan. The team was in Kansas City, and a storm was expected to hit the area sometime between 8:30 and 9 p.m. The M's took a 3-0 lead in the third, then added three more runs in the fourth. Meanwhile Gil Meche was cruising, having allowed only one hit.

As everyone knows, a game has to go five full innings before its "official" and can be called due to rain. Anything less than that and the game doesn't count, and has to be made up at a later date. With the storm on the horizon, Meche went right after the Royals in the bottom of the fourth, retiring the side in order.

At this point Royals manager Tony Muser went into stall mode, hoping the rains would arrive and wash out the game and his club's 6-0 deficit. Muser sent his team out into the field for the top of the fifth, but he held pitcher Jose Santiago in the dugout for quite a long time before finally letting him take the mound. Homeplate umpire Bill Miller, wise to Muser's tactics, ruled that because Santiago had taken so long to take the mound, he could only have three warm-up pitches instead of the usual eight.

This enraged Muser, who came out of the dugout to argue, thereby wasting even more time. Miller finally sent him back to the bench. The weather was really starting to pick up at this point, and it was clear the storm might be there any minute. The famous fountains behind the outfield wall were turned off, the winds were so strong.

Here's where things got really interesting, as manager Lou Piniella apparently told his hitters to make outs as quickly as possible. Mark McLemore swung and missed badly at the first pitch he saw, then took a ball before striking out on a half-hearted swing. Alex Rodriguez all but ran up to the plate, then did McLemore one better by grounding out weakly on the first pitch he saw. Edgar Martinez followed suit with an identical grounder to shortstop.

The half-inning took less than five minutes, and it was probably the only time I've ever rooted for the Mariners to make outs. Meche set the Royals down in the bottom of the fifth, and the M's scored one more run in the top of the sixth before the storm arrived and the game was called.

Two games, two situations I've never seen before as a baseball fan. Keep this in mind next time you catch a game, and be on the lookout for that special little nugget of baseball quirkiness you've never seen before, and might never have the opportunity to see again.

about the author

Jason Michael Barker has seen many sights at ballgames, including that of a mascot forcing his attentions upon an unwilling paying adult customer. Be sure to let him know of your weirdest ballpark moment at jmb@strikethree.com.