Baseballhead:
Fan, Interrupted

Michael Cox

Hey, gang! Welcome to the Baseballhead clubhouse, about the only place where your "secret handshake" won't get you arrested.

Well, you know your team's in trouble when your players start fighting each other on the field. That's what happened to the Astros on Sunday, as young catcher Mitch Meluskey decided he'd had enough guff from veteran Matt Mieske and slugged him in front of several hundred fans.

Unfortunately, no one would relay what was said during the short argument which culminated in the punch, but it's clear there's not much respect for at least one of the combatants. Craig Biggio, who is normally an "up" kind of guy, was blunt. "To me, it has everything to do with respect. Some people have it and some people don't. I'm going to leave it at that," he said.

Biggio didn't indicate which of the gladiators he was talking about, but he did mention Mieske's eleven seasons in the bigs. A lot of help that was for those of us who are trying to take sides...

Afterwards, Meluskey seemed unashamed of what he did, making sure the press knew "it was not a cheap shot." We understand he's now lining up a title defense against the Dodgers' Chad Kreuter, with an undercard featuring Bobby Valentine vs. Jayson Stark.

But seriously, folks, the question that remains (aside from "where are the 'Stros, and why are they in that handbasket?") is whether new school principal Frank Robinson will levy any punishment. Yes, intra-team violence is usually handled in-house, but punch-ups usually occur in the clubhouse or team bus, out of sight of the sight of all those impressionable kiddies.

With the new MLB focus on the "family-friendly" (read: kid-oriented), it seems some penalty is in order. After all, the fry who were watching batting practice Sunday are now going to feel like a good rumble should become an integral part of their own little league BP sessions.

Mind you, MLB has its hands full preparing to hear, en masse, the arguments by the Dodgers that they were fully justified in attacking the Wrigley Field fans. Mind you, it may be a little harsh that Robinson penalized players who did no more than menace the baseline ticketholders, but I agree with his theory.

You see, Robinson is punishing punchers by also harshly penalizing the actions of their teammates -- kind of the "I'm going to make the whole class stay after school" technique. Too harsh? No, too timid.

What I've advocated for years is the punishment of each and every person who steps out of the dugout during a fight. Without the backup of 25 or so of his closest friends, a Chad Kreuter or (more usually) hit batter is much less likely to storm the object of his anger.

On the other hand, that might not have stopped Kreuter.

Speaking of the current "fans gone crazy" media mania, I was remiss in omitting some of the most egregious acts of fan tumult in baseball's history.

From Denver, where they grow bad sports columnists like rows of corn in Iowa, came a surprising recent piece by Rocky Mountain News columnist Clay Latimer, who did a great job of debunking the theory that modern-day fans are somehow placing players "under siege."

As I did a couple of weeks ago, he buttressed (and not because I just like saying "buttressed") his point by recalling far, far worse moments in baseball history, many of which occurred well nigh over 20 years ago.

Tell me, when was the last time we've had a fan uprising like the Disco Demolition debacle of 1979? Or worse, like ten-cent beer night in Cleveland in 1974, where fans were hitting players with chairs (and not them flimsy pro-wrestling chairs, either)?

Certainly you'd think Buddy "Mr. Happy" Bell would remember. However, the Latimer article included a Bell quote about the surprisingly brash "new" fans in San Francisco, who actually dared to use obscenities when taunting the Rockies. This leads me to believe Bell knows very little about the history of Giants fans, one of whom once stabbed the mascot.

In a related story, it looks like this newfangled fan craziness has captured enough headlines that politicians are wanting a piece of the spotlight. Chicago city council have been discussing a proposed legislative solution, ever mindful that if those fans hadn't been doing whatever it was they were doing, there would have been no need for a bunch of players to charge up there and throttle them.

"What used to be a family event no longer is becoming a family event," alderman Joe Moore said. Of course, I don't know Moore's age, so I'm not sure whether he only remembers the family-oriented MLB "total entertainment package" of the last couple of decades, or whether he's received a head injury.

In days gone by, a season never passed without pictures of a baseball-sized hailstorm of giveaway baseballs, lobbed by fans upset with a call against the home team. Now we've got panty-waist players who make up stories (as far as I'm concerned) about being punched because they're too afraid to admit they mobbed innocent fans because one guy stole a cap as a prank.

Mind you, for every Chad Kreuter there are a hundred guys who stay on the field and play the game. Guys who know that heckling, even the crap that spews from the bleachers in the Bronx, has not sprouted overnight like weeds in the garden of baseball politeness. So let's not toss the whole bunch for just a few bad apples.

However, those bad apples should serve their suspensions.

about the author

Michael Cox and several members of the Strikethree team nearly came to blows last week over control of the remote, and it took Frank Robinson to break things up. Suggest that the gang combine their powers (and hatred of Paul O'Neill) for good at mc@strikethree.com.