Baseballhead:
Spring Preening

Michael Cox

Hey, you crazy kids, gather round for another edition of Baseballhead, where we were recently visited by the same voice that spoke to Carlos Santana, except it told us, "switch to decaf."

Even if you had nary a calendar in sight, you would be able to tell it's spring because a good 90% of the wire stories sport headlines like, "O's high on Pat Rapp," and "Pete Incaviglia pays visit to hard-working Phils."

Still, there was real news during this past week of spring training, with most of it pertaining to Darryl Strawberry, whose extracurricular, er, nasal activities have resulted in his year-long suspension. To his credit, he didn't try to deny his relapse. "I'd just like to say I'm not running and hiding. You guys know I've always been forward," said the man who last year tried to blame a relative for the cocaine found in his car.

But now Strawberry is a three-time loser, treading virgin territory unspoiled even by the likes of Steve Howe. No, at some point in his life a switch flipped and Strawberry decided to become Keith Richards, forgetting that at least Richards has a sense of humor, as well as the ability to play a damn fine guitar. Darryl lost the best years of his career and (to hear it told) all of his wealth to his addiction, and at the age of fifty, if he gets there, will be a pitiable figure at best.

Unless -- hey, I understand the Stones are without a regular bassist...

Item: Also, Band-Aids ripped off wounds still festering from last season, so to speak. Topmost on the injury list was the psychological owie on the noggin of one Rickey Henderson.

Rickey apparently spent the winter on the Cape Fear Vengeance Plan after being pulled for a defensive replacement in the late innings of NLCS Game Six. The second he swung into camp, he began (with the help of the media, natch) expressing his anger at the move. "I was furious really," he said. "They threw the whole thrill and glory and the moment of us trying to get to the World Series away by something negative."

Well, hold on there, big fella. I wouldn't go that far. While it was disingenuous of Bobby Valentine to bring Henderson back in after he had already taken the field, it was certainly Valentine's prerogative, and Rickey's defense has fallen with age. I didn't see many native New Yorkers stop jumping up and down when he was pulled, although the leaping did end for good shortly thereafter.

Item: Richie Phillips and the old umps' union lost their final appeal this past week. Duh.

We'll see how well the new leadership does, not where contracts are concerned, but where it counts: on-field performance. I wish them luck, even if I have a sinking feeling that nothing will change.

Item: ESPN.com ran a wacky, "edgy" article this past week on how MLB could take a few cues from pro wrestling, all with tongue in cheek, of course.

Mind you, it would have been edgier if it hadn't been done almost two years ago, by... us. Enjoy this Derek Zumsteg blast from the past.

Item: Frank Thomas met with White Sox manager Jerry "Reinsdorf Sure Knows How to Pick 'Em" Manuel this week to emphatically deny that he "quit" on his teammates last year.

You know? I believe the Big Hurt, and not just because of his cuddly, teddy-bear face. Let's face it -- what other reason is there to play in the South Side these days, besides the love of the game. Frank Thomas has given more to the Sox than anyone else (including Reinsdorf) for the last ten years, and has possibly been the only guy in Chicago not ragging on his team.

Plus, he says that it was no ordinary corn they removed from his pinky toe -- it was the mother of all corns. "It was reconstructive surgery on the little toe," Thomas said. "It was a big deal and it's still very painful. I'm still not one hundred percent." By now you should not require a punch line...

Item: Let me get this straight. Ken Griffey Jr. went with his gut, wanted to go where his heart was, even if it took a pay cut, and is more reviled in Seattle than Shawn Kemp. Alex Rodriguez has said repeatedly it's all about the money, will not sign anything before his value is established on the free agent market, and he's doing the honorable thing?

It just goes to show: a smile counts for a lot.

I love you guys. Honest. Don't make me hold out for more money.

Michael Cox wants nothing more than to be traded away to his native Canada, but the rest of the Strikethree team is holding out until the Canadians toss in some of that tasty maple syrup. Tell him you're quite sorry to hear about the delay when you write to mc@strikethree.com.

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