Duty Now for the FutureJason Michael Barker

Now that the new year and century (I'm one of those geeks who'll scream 'till he's blue in the face about the millennium not starting until next year) are upon us, perhaps it's time to leave all those "Best Of the Year/Decade/Century" lists behind and take a look toward the future.

Peering into the crystal ball, I've come up with the following predictions for the next century of our national pastime:

2003 -- Advertisements make their way on to player uniforms. There was some discussion of this idea a year or so ago, but it was dismissed pretty quickly as an insult to the purity of the sport (if you think baseball is still "pure," you've got another thing coming). Eventually, however, Selig and company are unable to resist the extra income, and teams from the Yankees to the Marlins sport "Amazon.com" patches on their uniforms.

2006 -- Greg Maddux wins career game number 300, becoming the last man ever to achieve the feat.

2010 -- After surpassing Mark McGwire's career mark earlier in the year, Ken Griffey Jr. hits career homer number 800 on the final day of the season, then announces his retirement the next day.

2013 -- Claiming "fans love offense," the National League finally adopts the designated hitter rule. San Diego's Calvin Pickering is the first National Leaguer to bat as a DH in a non-interleague or World Series situation, walking on five pitches. He is replaced by a pinch runner.

2026 -- With expansion into Las Vegas, Portland, Vancouver, Charlotte, Orlando and New Jersey, baseball finds itself with 40 teams (Mexico City and Salt Lake City having been added in 2015). Teams are realigned into eight divisions of five teams each, with each division winner making the playoffs. To compensate for the longer postseason, the regular season is shortened to 144 games.

2030 -- Don Zimmer officially retires from baseball, just one month shy of his 100th birthday.

2037 -- Corporate sponsorship of teams continue, with the Seattle Mariners replacing the word "Mariners" on their uniforms with the word "Microsoft." Soon, teams are known for their corporate sponsor rather than their city: the Microsoft Mariners, Disney Angels, eBay Mets, and so on.

2042 -- Claiming "fans love offense," the pitching mound is moved back ten feet and lowered by six inches. The average ERA soars to nearly six, and the Colorado Rockies become the first team to score over 1500 runs in a season.

2044 -- Taking a page from the NFL, baseball moves the World Series to a neutral site. The giant 95,000-seat Intel Park in New Orleans, funded entirely by taxpayer money and built by robots, gets a 20-year contract to host the World Series. Approximately 3,000 seats are available to the general public, with the remainder going to corporate interests. The AOL Athletics best the Bank of America Yankees two games to one in the new "best of three" format.

2056 -- Corporate sponsorship of individual players begins when Chip Sergio, star centerfielder of the Qualcomm Giants changes his name to "Yahoo!" for the tidy one-time sum of one biiiiillion dollars.

2069 -- Claiming "fans love offense," teams are now allowed to utilize a "designated fielding team" and a "designated hitting team." With this increased specialization, very few players are good enough to be on both squads, and to compensate, rosters are expanded to 35.

2077 -- Baseball expands overseas for the first time, creating the new "International Division" by placing franchises in London, Moscow, Beijing, Tokyo and Rome. Advancements in the transportation industry make travel a breeze.

2099 -- Having won their 26th World Series titles of the century, the Pfizer Big Brown Moose are crowned "Team of the Century" by Professional Baseball International, baseball's new ruling body.

about the author

Jason Michael Barker will become commissioner in 2018, at which time tie games will be settled by determining which team has the most entertaining peanut vendor. Suggest punishments for the elderly George Steinbrenner at jmb@strikethree.com.